REPORTS FOR OCTOBER - DECEMBER 2004
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Chelsea celebrate winning the Premier League in a very strange way!!!
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A view on the beach at the Mirage Park.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


The Elk in Fenerbahçe

 


Scousers hit Istanbul in their thousands....

 

 


Steve Hart drives one into the top corner past Proudy in nets.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Torture in Turkey as prisoners are forced to watch the vets video's

 

17th April 2005 : Zou Zou Mastin (left) finally paid the price for his under par performances in Mary's Moaners squad. His refusal to shout obscenities at the referee and opposing players coupled with his sense of fair play was more than his team mates could endure. Thankfully the old hippie made a miraculous recovery in time for this weeks session.  Three teams this week with Zsu Zsu joining Bryn, Scouse Ron, Disley and John. Karl, Dave, Matt, Malcolm Stubbs and Robbie made up the second team leaving Keith Proudfoot, Rick, Nigel, Martin and myself in the final team. Things got off to a good start with the first three games ending all square and to be honest most of the games tonight were pretty close. Early doors saw Bryn take on a playmaking role with some tasty passes that I would have been chuffed to make myself. Maybe all the    years   watching  Zsu Zsu   and   me   setting    the standards have at last influenced the Staly striker. Ron was back tonight recovered from his knee injury and Malcolm Stubbs made a welcome return. Karl ended up in a strong team for a change and seemed to enjoy himself. Robbie continues his meteoric rise in goal scoring notching a brace past Martin Wilde in one of the later games - can this be a sign that the Baggies will indeed escape relegation or will it turn out to be a false dawn. With the transfer window about to be reopened shortly I can see a rush of activity to acquire the wee fella's signature.  Next week should see the return of our old Jocko from China, hopefully laden with contracts and if Chris and Steve Gerrard are sufficiently rested my team will be back up to full strength and ready to re establish ourselves at the top of the order.

24th April 2004 : Another good nights football tonight at the Leisure Centre with three teams. Ron, Bryn, Disley, John and Matt formed an extremely strong Mary's moaners outfit with Karl, Gary, Bud, Martin and Robbie teaming up. The old Jocko returned fit and ready from China to join Steve Gerrard, Paul Ramsden, Proudy and myself. Zsu Zsu Mastin sadly failed an early fitness test and was relegated to referee, a job he graced with great skill and resilience. If his playing days are under threat maybe the old hippie has found a new niche. He was of course severely tested by our resident Scouser but to be fair the boy handled it well.
On the football side, there wasn't much to choose between my team and the Mary's Moaners with us both sharing wins and draws in our encounters. Karls team were a little under strength and although Karl gave it his usual 100% plus they only managed one win all night. Robbies recent goal scoring bonanza hit the buffers big style tonight as the little chap failed to find the net. Steve Hart and Steve Gerrard looked sharp and Keith Proudfoot and his sidekick Paul both linked well but for me my hat trick near the end was the highlight of my night. I can't remember the last one I got but as a playmaker they are few and far between.  It was good to have some tasty battles with the Moaners tonight but we must address the third team issue. I am sure that few early adjustments to the squads would have made the night a three way tussle like we had last week but that is up to us all to tackle not just for me to moan about.
No Chris again this week but I did bump into old Mooro in New Mills on Saturday. The old boys looking good for an over 60 year old and is threatening to make a comeback, it would be good to see him back and I know for a fact that he would still give most of the lads a damn good run for their money.

1st May 2005 : Oh what a night as the lads went head to head literally tonight. Maybe it was something in the air but there were some very physical clashes this evening. Nothing over the top although Karls sliding tackle on Bryn was a bit tasty. A quick apology at the end of the game from Karl did the trick though. Mary's Moaners, Bryn. Ron, Bud, John and Zsu Zsu were on the receiving end of a few drubbings from Robbies team. Robbie was with Matt, Karl and Martin and I don't think I've seen him play better than he did tonight. He did tell me that last week wasn't the start of a goal drought because he had planted a beaut past Ron. Well that might have been true but, this week he did end up goal less but made his mark in other departments including a thudding tackle on the assassin which he may pay for in the near future. Chris was back in my team this week with Steve Hart and Steve Gerrard. I think we just about regained our top ranking tonight with some stunning games. Steve Gerrard whacked in a few classics including one from near half way whilst Steve Hart whacked the bar, the wall, the roof and everything but the goals. Chris looked back to form after his short lay off and slotted in well. Matt was probably the highest scorer tonight, it certainly gave Karls team a lift and Bryn scored well for the Moaners. Chelsea won the league yesterday and City continued their unbeaten run but the big game this week is the second leg of the European Champions (plus runners up, third place and maybe even fourth place if you are in a big country) League second leg clash between Liverpool and Chel$ea. I would love to see Liverpool win it if only to wipe that stupid smile of the Russians face.... come on you  scousers

8th May 2005 : Mary's Moaners turned out in force tonight with Bryn, Ron, John, Zsu Zsu Mastin and guests Matt and Karl.  Steve Gerrard, Chris, Kith Proudfoot, myself plus guests Dan and Robbie were the opposition. It was obvious that the season was drawing to a close this weekend with many teams just going through the motions not being threatened with relegation and out of the running for promotion. This was the case with my team tonight as we relaxed at the end of another demanding season. Mary's Moaners spotted their opportunity to take advantage and generally proved the stronger of the two teams. John the assassin spent much of the evening on his arse after a variety of challenges failed to go his way although a later one reduced Robbie to permanent keeper.  Maybe it was this injury that allowed Scouse Ron to hit two mighty toe enders past him from great distance. Steve and Proudy soldiered on to try and keep us in the running with some fine strikes but it was to no avail as Matt Karl and Bryn rattled in the goals.  With my May holiday starting next week, avoiding injury was top of my list and thankfully I met my target.  Poor old Robbie was feeling the pressure of the Baggies fight for survival which will be decided next Sunday and the boy will be there to witness it.  The glorious Blues of Manchester are also playing an important game at the weekend against Boro' and the prize for the winners is a place in Europe, a stunning achievement after some of the early season dross. Well done to Liverpool this week and let's hope the "mickey mousers" behave themselves in Istanbul and the team give us another English club winner in the competition. So no report next week but I have sought the services of a guest writer of great flair.

15th May 2005 : The last day of the Premiership season proved too strong an attraction tonight, with even Robbie deserting in order to bear witness to the Baggies startling eleventh hour escape. With only 8 die-hard and ageing vets turning out for the usual Sunday night joust, two teams were formed, adjusted slightly after a couple of games, leaving Bryn, Chris, Stevie Hart and Nigel to take their chances against Zsu Zsu, Scouse Ron, John Boy and a newly-returned Kevin. Bryn’s team turned in the superior performance despite varying tactics from Zsu Zsu’s squad, including a brief experiment with Scouse Ron’s concept of Static Football, a variant on the Total Football introduced by the Dutch squad in the 70s, which involved no movement from the gifted phantom but much gobbing off. Attempts to achieve a mid-session transfer to enable Ronnie's unusual talents to be equitably shared came to nothing, and Zsu Zsu departed the session with death threats from the troubled Scouser ringing in his ears about his team selection capabilities, an issue which is likely to be brought up at the next AGM.  Malc's playmaking skills were sadly missed tonight but no doubt he will re-emerge from his Asian excursion in a fortnight a year older and a few pounds heavier. 
Get Your Kits Out wishes to thank the guest reporter for this submission

22nd May 2005 : Again a poorly turnout with just eight ageing masters turning up to display their velvety skills. Stevie Hart, Nigel and Scouse Ron were missing following their exertions last week, but Bud, Steve Gerrard and Danny turned up to create two four-man squads, with Bryn's team of Chris, Danny and Bud proving superior on the night, only losing the whole evening's tournament to a dodgy call of Golden Goal by Zsu Zsu in the last few minutes. Best players on the pitch were the two benches put down in the goals as the last line of defence.
Likely to be a better attendance next week with Houghie back from his treatment for gum disease in Turkey. Good news about one non-attendee - Paul's cruciate ligament is on the mend and he's now able to run in straight lines. Could
be a crucial partner for Robbie, who can only run diagonally.
Another guest report gratefully received from Get Your Kits Out, the spell checker now needs a rest

29th May 2005 : So much has happened since my last game with the vets, a holiday in the sun over in Turkey, my last birthday before my sixtieth and a shed load of top football. Liverpool's win in Istanbul was amazing - people from all over the country have shared with great pride this tremendous performance by our most successful club side. Not even Abramovich's millions could buy a European Champions League Trophy and let's hope that it remains that way because spirit and the will to win has no price. That same spirit was evident down at the Leisure centre tonight as the old giffers battled it out with a great show of non stop gritty action.
Bryn, Ron, Bud, John and Martin took on Ian Huddlestone, myself, Guy Lowndes, Keith Proudy and his mate Graeme. I knew my team were in with a shout tonight when I saw Michael "Bud" Jackson crossing the car park with a fag in his mouth, that sounds a familiar topic!  The score wasn't that important tonight although I must say that in the end my side led by a country mile after some excellent passing play and all round goal scoring from a very well balanced team. Guy and Graeme were full of running but when everybody is hitting the net there can only be one result. Bryn's team were obviously missing the calming influence of  Zsu Zsu their eccentric playmaker who went awol this week. Bryn was netting early on but lacked support when it came to finishing off some decent moves. Guy's return after a long spell out injured with knee problems went well with no reactions and he will only get better with more games.
Back to last weeks football, I spent last Sunday evening watching Galatasaray playing Fenerbahçe in the Turkish league top of the table clash. If you think our derby games are hostile you should watch this lot, unbelievable stuff. Anyway as good as it was and as much as I enjoyed my stay in Turkey it was great to be back to Sunday night football again but hopefully next week we will see a few more of the boys back to make up three teams.

5th June 2005 : No more football until next season although the back pages are full of transfer speculation and misdemeanours mainly by Chelsea. That nice Mr Glazier has taken control of Man Uni£ed which should brighten things up around OT, hold on to your wallets you reds it's going to be an expensive ride from now on.
No such unrest with the Vets as Mary's Moaners took on board a couple of guests tonight. Bryn, John, Michael Jackson and Keith were joined by Keith Proudfoot and Martin.  Steve Hart, Ian (good to see him making regular appearances again), Karl, Robbie, Nigel and myself did our best to give them a run for their money but we fell a bit short. Bryn joined forces with Proudy to form a deadly scoring duo which we couldn't contain. Zsu Zsu gave his usual masterclass of playmaking while John hit form again and gave us plenty of problems. Without Chris, Proudy (guesting for the moaners) and Steve Gerrard we lacked that fluency of a regular team. We did have our moments though especially Robbie who at times defied the laws of gravity, he netted four gems tonight though which can't be sneezed at. Karls left foot only came into play on rare occasions mainly due to a heavy drinking session and much frustration with his team mates. Michael Jackson who as we all know is on trial (with the moaners of course), gave his usual non stop performance of grimacing and rubbing his legs at each hint of a tackle. Performance of the night was Stevie Hart's  full bloodied monologue of Jocko swearing as he misjudged a guilt edged chance in the closing minutes of yet another brilliant session.  Well done lads more of the same next week please. Zsu Zsu is back in the Irish outback next week so it will be a freebie - no excuse for not being there so we need at least fifteen.
I bumped into Paul  Garner last week, he's raring to get back and hopefully that will be soon. I also heard about Tony Moore's application to join New Mills Golf Club. On the form where it says, Previous Clubs, Tony wrote, Slazenger, Dunlop and borrowed from Houghie - 

12th June 2005 : Watching the Masters Football on Sky TV today convinced me that no player ever wants to give up competing at this great sport. Peter Beardsley, Peter Beagrie,  Dean Windass, Craig Hignet, John Hendrie, Marco Gabbiadini and company put on a great show just for the chance to play the game in the spirit that it was intended for. Just like the old pro's our boys turn out week in week out and roll back the years just for the love of the game. I wasn't really fit enough tonight, a bit of lateral knee ligament trouble, but after watching the masters I couldn't resist turning out. I played in goal for Michael Jackson, Guy Lowndes, Robbie and Martin. Bryn, Scouse Ron, Disley and Karl made up the second squad with Steve Hart, Steve Gerrard, Chris, Keith Proudfoot and Paul the final team. Steve Hart's team set off like a steam roller with Proudy and Steve Gerrard netting at will. It wasn't until well into the session that their gallop was halted when Robbie defied all odds by scoring with a suicidal header leaving him flat on his back as the ball eluded the keeper. They then threw everything except the kitchen sink at Robbie's team, hitting the post, the bar and me but, we hung on for a famous win. Bryn's team then came into their own with Disley in particular whacking in some fine strikes. Chris was back this week looking a little rusty, his first goal arrived five minutes before the end. Martin Wilde played very well this evening, and Karl enjoyed his run out in a decent side but with Zsu Zsu in Ireland and myself stuck in nets, there was a distinct lack of playmakers on show. Plenty of running and endeavour and more than a smattering of style but playmaking is an art which isn't appreciated until the playmasters are absent, 'nough said....

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