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Zsu Zsu Mastin has always had an eye for art since his days at Shooters Hill Grammar School where it was rumoured the head master had to burn it down to get him out.....

  


Scouse Ron used to be a
footballer back in those
days when things seemed to go a lot slower and most players had hair.

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Parking in the Garage
No.10 - Scouse Ron

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cartoon for Euro 2004
 
Tony Moore
The world's greatest Lover
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9th May 2004 : The season is fizzling out now but the vets still turn out in numbers. This evening saw the return of old Mooro looking not a day over 60 although he's at least 60 . Great to see the old boy who reckons after watching us slug it out over 90 minutes he may just come out of retirement. I do hope he does, I am only too aware that Zsu Zsu, John and myself are the only original players still active and my dream of playing at 60 is getting ever nearer.
Three teams tonight, Bryn, Scouse Ron, Paul, Mike and debutant Richard  - The two Steves, Chris and myself - John, Rob, Bud, Kevin and Zsu Zsu. It was a close call which was the better team but overall the night gave us the best of what you can expect from the vets. Good competitive games played at a decent pace with some fine goals and the odd scrawpy one.
MOM could have gone to a few tonight but for me Bryn just about deserved it for driving his team by example. Richard made a good start but the demise of Mary's Moaners looks complete now after they apparently dumped John. This was not unnoticed by the assassin who will no doubt seek retribution in his own individual style. Keith Zsu Zsu Mastin now free from the Moaners shackles nearly took the MOM tonight with a fine all round performance to keep his team in with a shout. My side were dominating until the later stages with Steve Hart and Steve Gerrard both looking sharp but we tired later on and lost our way. Johns team won a few, lost a few and drew a few so all round we did OK.  If anybody fancies a go at the Vets News write ups, drop me an email and you can be a guest writer for a week with a free hand. 

16th May 2004 : The last game at the City of Manchester Stadium yesterday summed up Man City's season, we can play when we want to but that's not as often as you want us to. Thankfully they left us happy with a 5-1 win over a hapless Everton team who quite frankly are no different to Man City. Roll on the European Championships. As for the vets we had the Mary's moaners reformed tonight with Bryn, Ron, Zsu Zsu and John. There was a new found confidence as they ripped into their first two games beating my team (Steve Gerrard, Chris, Paul and myself) 3-2 and then a team of youngsters, Richard, Rob, Guy, Dan and Harry fell to the Moaners 6-2. Still as the night went on Steve rallied our team with a great hat trick and with Chris and Paul and myself bagging a good share of goals we sorted the other two sides out. Harry played really well for the young team and the early games between us all were quite frantic. Mary's Moaners got revenge on my side later on with a 5-2 win when we all went to sleep but generally the night was one of the better sessions with some great football and classic goals. Scouse Ron scored a fine back heeler then fell on his considerable arse trying to repeat the feat.
MOM tonight was Steve Gerrard although the session was full of enthusiastic play the hat trick did it for me. John Goodwin also scored a hat trick later on as the moaners got their act together. Paul settled into our side well this evening and as the transfer window is about to open we could well complete the jigsaw with for my mind the best tackler amongst us.
Hopefully next week I have found our first guest writer, I look forward to that. Fifty Eight today so I'm just two years away from playing with the vets at sixty, I felt everyone of those 58 years at times tonight but I'm not going to stop yet but I was grateful the event passed without anybody knowing.

  The Picture on the right was sent to me by a French correspondent who posed the
question "Zsu Zsu Mastin a-t-il une affaires en france?"   Or for those of you not fortunate enough to have more than a Derek Trotter understanding of French, "does old Zsu Zsu have a crafty little earner over the Channel making Crepes?"

I'm sure it's a charitable organisation providing funds for the underprivileged

23rd May 2004 : The report for tonight's action will appear tomorrow written by a guest writer.......

Sadly the above report never materialised, I won't embarrass the volunteer by naming him but it was a good opportunity to paint the Mary's Moaners in a good light. The teams last week were Steve Gerrard, Steve Hart, Kevin and myself - Matt, Richard, Rob, Harry and Nigel - and the Mary's Moaners comprising of Bryn, Scouse Ron, John, Keith and Dan. Another quality session with the Moaners shading it marginally over Matt's team. It was a tough old night with all players competing well and no holds barred. No real MOM but it could have been almost anybody, it was that sought of night. I was disappointed that we couldn't get the better of the moaners but that's how it goes sometimes. A few players away next week so it could be a bit of a bad turnout, you never know these days who will turn up, we might even get to see Robbie or old Mooro - stranger things have happened.

30th May 2004 : The vets sessions on a Sunday night are possibly as good as they have ever been at the moment with a blend of youth and half centurions (+vat).  Bryn, Ron, Paul, Chris, Kevin, John, Steve G, Matt, Richard, Rob and myself.  We rotated the order tonight which threw up a few one sided games but also a glut of fine flowing football. Young Rob had a nightmare first hour when he couldn't put a foot right but in general all the lads had their moments tonight. Bryn found his scoring touch and John put himself about a fair bit. Steve drilled in a couple of his specials and Matt passed the ball about to such an extent that Scouse Ron even praised him, albeit loudly. Talking of Scouse Ron, promotion to a white collar job at Ferodo's seems to have given his game a shot in the arm (which he managed to dig Kevin with) has coincided with his return to goal scoring form.
Much to be pleased about this week with a very enjoyable nights footy.  England are in action this week at our wonderful City of Manchester Stadium which gives the Nevilles, Paul Scholes and Nicky Butt a good chance of a rare win at this venue, we shall see.

6th June 2004 :
Report compiled by a guest. Another startling night of football passion as 14 ageing vets, most broken down by age and sex, battled for supremacy in the humid conditions of the New Mills Leisure Centre. The scratch squad of Danny, Bud, Richard, ‘Arry and Zsu Zsu, whilst new and untested, nevertheless managed to beat the Moaners and Houghies Hustlers a couple of times, and supplied the MOM in the form of Richard, whose persistence, tackling ability and prowess in defence and attack was unsurpassed. Indeed it was Bud who pulled off the save of the night, diving to his right to tip a fierce cannonball from Diz over the bar, whilst Zsu Zsu excelled with two inch-perfect strikes which scraped the upright before nestling. Maybe a touch of complacency with the other two teams, with Houghie himself missing numerous sitters – is age catching up on the old playmaker? - and the Moaners excelling only in haranguing referees and in the regular brutality meted out by Scouse Ron. Altogether a good session, leaving all prepared for the Euro 04 torment which lies ahead. Bring on the Faroe Isles.

13th June 2004 : Report compiled by a guest. Another evening of raw passion at New Mills Leisure Centre as three teams of vets battled for supremacy, albeit played in an eerie silence as Scouse Ron had a chest infection which rendered it impossible for him to give full vent to his considerable verbal prowess. Great care was again taken to ensure a satisfactory mix of skills before play commenced, with each team being equipped with an ageing playmaker, a runner, and a player classified as XL or above for underpants, and this worked well as the three teams were evenly matched all evening. No MOM this week, although young Richard is blossoming and could be subject to a transfer bid from Houghie’s ageing warriors; and Harry played his heart out with some remarkable dribbling, stopped occasionally only by robust challenges with the teeth by John ‘Assassin’ Goodwin. Other notable points during the evening was the award to Stevie Hart – now called Cussing Steve - of the Jonnie Wilkinson Award for twice hitting the ceiling from 10 yards out; the continuing outstanding playmaking of Malc Hough (Houghie – please send the Ł10 for this to my home address) and a Goal of the Evening award to Bryn, who fired in a belter from the halfway line which goalie Zsu Zsu Mastin was wise to avoid. Indeed Zsu Zsu had a poor evening in goal, and may be in line for a call-up to the Scotland squad.

webmasters (Malc) addition All the lads were looking forward to the England France game tonight so it was a surprise when sixteen players (double the number on the corresponding week last year)  turned up. Bryn, Scouse Ron, Richard, Harry and Bud made up the first team with Malc Stubbs, Gary, Richard (another new player), Steve Gerrard and Steve Hart forming the second team and Disley, John, Zsu Zsu, Dan, Rob and myself making the third. Disley's team only managed two wins all night and to be fair that was about right as we were a pretty disjointed outfit. The other two teams though played some good stuff with Bryn taking the MOM for the night with an excellent bout of scoring from all over the pitch including the first goal from a kick off for a long time (see report above).
The session ended slightly early as a few of the lads left early for the England game. I was in no hurry as I felt we were going to lose to a more skilful French team who would win 2-1. It seemed obvious to me that the balance of the game would rest on the midfield duel between Beckham and Zidane. Zidane is a far better free kick taker than Beckham and Beckham's insistence on taking all the free kick situations would probably be our undoing. Give Zidane a sniff and he will punish us, give Beckham a sniff and he'll probably fall on his arse again just like he did in the world cup.  My prediction, 2-1 to France....   we will see!
The lads who follow us on a Sunday night are choosing to play once a fortnight as their numbers have dwindled. As we had 16 tonight with regulars Chris and Paul  Garner both missing we are looking in a healthy position but, we must not get complacent. Rick looks like he will be joining us on a regular basis as he wants regular football, so we will probably grab him while the transfer window is open. Also Robbie is on the verge of a comeback and with Tony Moore's health improving by the day since his rejection of alchohol we could soon see our first 4 team session in many a year.  England have just kicked off so let's hope for a bit of luck, Come on England!!!!   many thanks to our guest writer for the two reports above, if anybody fancies a crack let me know and it's all yours, no editing by me.

20th June 2004 : Wow a snappy old session tonight for some reason but having watched the Euro 2004 games this week I couldn't help but notice some of the continental tricks creeping in. Some crafty little nudges and trips, plenty of shouting at any form of contact and Scouse Ron's own form of gobbing, thankfully not the Totti liquid type. Scouse Ron, John, Zsu Zsu, Disley, Bud and Dan played against Steve Hart, Chris, Rob, Richard, Matt and myself in a six a side session (one player drops for each game).  The games were pretty even early on but as the sides got into it Steve's team took control. MOM Matt was in great form netting at will much to the annoyance of Ron and John in particular. Ron in his strange way of looking at things just finds him boring and John interestingly thinks he's too fast for us.  I personally feel Matt is a great addition to our sessions and raises the bar when it comes to standards.  We have had some quite exceptional players in the past who were in all fairness a rung above us but, gradually we came to grips with them or dragged them down to our level.  As for being too fast - this is a problem I have had to live with but the lads have learned to cope!!
Poor old Ron, getting slower by the week he obviously missed his striking partner Bryn tonight but equally Chris was slightly under par without Stevie Gerrard's midfield drive. Next week could see a bumper turnout depending on the Euro Games but let's hope that the lads lay off the testosterone and get back to playing for fun.... COME ON ENGLAND!!!!

27th June 2004 : Great win against Croatia in Euro 2004 then came the disaster on Thursday night when the great British public were let down by a Swiss ref and our hapless captain Beckham. My main thoughts were we lost to a better side but could have got a win, a bit like when we play Mary's Moaners, sometimes they get a win. Anyway all is not lost because via this page you can visit the referee's website and leave him some feedback by clicking on http://www.ursmeier.ch/referee/ : Alternately you can email the nice Swiss chappie using referee@ursmeier.ch : Now I've got that off my chest.
The football tonight was contested by Scouse Ron, Zsu Zsu, John, Harry and Dan - Bud, Gary, Richard, Nigel and Rob - Steve Hart & Gerrard, Chris and myself.
Report will be posted later to night by our guest writer....
GUEST REPORT

VETS VOTE WITH THEIR FEET

The world of vets football was rocked to its foundations tonight when Danny walked from the Mary's Moaners Squad after an intensive and exciting 45 minutes complaining bitterly that it was pointless continuing unless Scouse Ron pulled his weight. Ronnie had earlier made the point that the three squads for tonight's session were unbalanced, with the Moaners having no runners. A quick age count confirmed this to be the case, with the collective Moaners age being 378 and the other two squads 90, but this was resolved by a quick Bosman Free when the unsuspecting Harry was transferred to join the Moaners. However Ronnie still didn’t pull his weight, considerable though it is, and there was speculation that this may be due to premature tiredness resulting from a slack training regime following his new job at Ferodo.

Either way a good night was had by everyone else, with the possible exception of John ‘Kneecapper’ Goodwin, and there were some startling goals – notably two in the top left hand corner scored by respectively Houghie and Stevie Hart. Zsu Zsu Mastin excelled in goal for the first time since the sad death of Queen Victoria, and Bud had a few magnificent dribbles, but there was no overall MOM.

Editors note : Steve's squad came within two games of becoming the first team to win every game tonight after winning the first 12. Sadly like England some dodgy refereeing and Zsu Zsu guest goalkeeping put paid to it in the 13th. Still a great effort which to my mind qualifies The two Steves, Chris and myself as joint MOM this week.

 

4th July 2004 : The dream team from last week was split up tonight with Steve Gerrard and Chris joining Bud, Scouse Ron and Richard. Disley, Dan, Paul and myself formed another team and Bryn, Zsu Zsu, John, Steve Hart the other team. Bryn back again this week wasted no time in hitting the net and continued to do so for the night. Goal of the night was scored by Steve Hart when he flew down the wing beating two players before slamming the ball home. MOM tonight goes to John the assassin who scored a beauty himself when he turned Scouse Ron inside out and the lamped the ball home. John was the backbone of his team this evening with unselfish play and crisp tackling. All round good games tonight with no team dominating and goals being spread out pretty evenly. Good to see Paul  Garner back after injury and still putting the tackles in. Short report tonight as I'm about to watch the final of Euro 2004 between Portugal and Greece. Like nearly everybody you speak to I would love to see the Greeks win and who's to say they won't. I played in my AEK Athens shirt tonight and I'll certainly be rooting for them so COME ON ΕΛΛΑΣ this is your time!!!
Next week Rick will become a permanent member of our merry band as his lads go part time playing every other week. A sign of the times, cuts everywhere but the vets go from strength to strength.

 

11th July 2004 : Would you believe it - Greece Euro 2004 winners, it just goes to show anything is possible in football. Just the twelve of us this evening at the leisure centre - Bryn, Keith, Rob, Bud Jackson, young Craig Mills and Paul  played against Steve Gerrard, Dan, Disley, Keith Proudfoot, Harry and myself. Over the night Steves team came out on top with Keith slotting in well and Dan putting in a good effort. Bryn scored well early on but faded as the night went on but MOM and star turn for his side was Bud Jackson. I think Bud played the best football I've seen from the little fella tackling and scoring well all night. Young Craig used his youthful skills well and Zsu Zsu did his best to lift his team mates to a higher level but they were unable to cope with our total football approach. When Disley sent in a couple of sighters the writing was on the wall, he peppered the goal with some awesome drives. Steve also lashed in his share tonight in a thoroughly enjoyable session.  The boys who follow us on are missing the first of their alternate weeks next Sunday so we may be getting a couple of new recruits, I feel an EGM coming on - plenty of players, nice weather and the need for some liquid refreshment are the perfect ingredients, I will approach the management.

 

18th July 2004 : The Masters came to Manchester tonight, I don't know the result as I prefer to watch semi live when it comes on Sky TV. Niall Quinn was playing for the glorious Blues so it should be worth the wait. What always amazes me with these ex pro's is the fact that they can only play in small bursts of three or four minutes. Tonight our vets played 90 minutes non stop at four a side so who are the real masters of this game? Zsu Zsu Mastin, John Goodwin, Dan Bolton and Matt were definitely second best in the end to Steve Gerrard, Richard, myself and Keith Proudfoot. With Scouse Ron not playing this evening we were able to play without a referee which allowed both teams to play some fine free flowing football. John scored the goal of the night with a steamer into the top corner but there were plenty more decent efforts to recall. Most of the night the scores were quite close until the last 15 minutes when Steve's team took advantage of the oppositions lack of fitness. I ended the evening with the traditional golden goal, finishing off a fine pass from Keith. This week I'm starting the Get Your Kits Out Hall of Fame Page so keep a look out for some names from the past or who knows, maybe there are a few Masters of our own in New Mills who are still kickin' it!!!!

Suggested dates for the Special EGM - Fri 14th or Sat 15th August.

 

25th July 2004 : Twelve players tonight with Scouse Ron, Steve Hart, Dan, Rob, Richard and myself playing against John, Zsu Zsu, Disley, Matt, Harry and Nigel. John's team came out on top over the evening but there were quite a few excellent games. My Grandsons came down to watch tonight and it was a bit embarrassing to hear them shouting come on Grandad, that just gave the lads a bit more ammunition to fire at me. Best goal tonight was a pearler on the half volley from Harry which flew in and left Harry with a look of amazement that was a joy to see. Bollocking of the night left Scouse Ron in awe as Stevie Hart screamed at Dan, "will ye nae pass the f*****g ball!!!!"  Now Dan wasn't having the best of nights but for the next three games he attempted to pass to Steve from pretty much anywhere he received it. The popular Merseysider was in fact a little subdued tonight and faded after a promising start. His attempt in goal to save a soft little bobbler which trickled through his legs almost caused him to do a forward roll as he reached down and back between his size 12's, not a pretty sight. New shoes (actually borrowed from his lady) made a big improvement to Harry's Game. The little feller showed some good skills and stayed on his feet for the majority of the night. MOM tonight - Disley playing with a smile again.

All in all a good night inspite of the missing regulars, Chris, Steve, Bud, Paul etc. Keith Zsu Zsu Mastin is travelling over to the bog they call Southern Ireland to punish his family for a fortnight in the pissing rain, doesn't he know there are nearly 2 million holidays unsold in places where the sun does shine.........

 

1st August 2004 : Lots of revelations at the Leisure Centre tonight as Chris returns from the Balearics with a serious sun tan and news breaks about one of our chaps getting married in Thailand. Nine vets tonight so we played four a side with a ref. Scouse Ron, Chris, John, Rob, Keith Proudfoot, Disley, Richard, Nigel and myself did battle this evening in a very enjoyable session. John just about deserved the MOM tonight scoring well and after a couple of tasty tackles somehow avoided retribution. Scouse Ron played with a smile on his face all night, he must have come up on the Lottery or something or maybe tonight's the night!  No Bryn again this evening, I don't expect he'll be appearing again next week if his beloved Staly Celtic lose to Hyde United on Tuesday night, a win for the Tigers looks on the cards to me. Going back to the Thai wedding, I was told by a regular visitor to Thailand it's a case of what you see isn't always what you get. Still I'm sure Kevin will tell us all about it when he returns. I've also had an email this week from Dave Huddart who has just moved up to Gods Country here in the North and wants a game with us. No problem as all new players are made welcome but there is a slight worry about John's delayed retribution habit!
Incidentally on the corresponding Sunday last year we had only 5 players turn up so we are still rockin' and rollin' in the Holiday season.

 

8th August 2004 : Poor old Man UniŁed get turned over by Arsenal in the Charity Shield 3-1 and City win their first game of the season at COMS by the same score against crack Serie A side, Lazio but Hyde (picture left - Dootson saves for Staly) failed to beat rivals Stalybridge losing 3-0 (see the Non League Page).  A good weekend though was enhanced by a brilliant 5 a side session at the leisure centre. A good mix of youth, middle age and old farts served up some excellent games. Scouse Ron, Bryn, John, Matt represented Mary's Moaners, Steve Hart and Gerrard, Chris, Rob and myself made up the second team with Dan, Malcolm Stubbs, Richard, Keith Proudfoot and his mate Paul the third team. Paul made a good start especially as he hasn't played for a long while and Dan had a good night. Matt struggled to fit in with the Mary's Moaners who failed to utilise his speed and skill. They came into their own when they berated young Rob for daring to award a free kick against them, poor old Matt looked bemused, he'll never make a moaner. The two Steves were the pick of my team tonight but Chris was a different player to last week. MOM tonight goes to Keith for quietly getting on with the game and scoring a good few goals. Richard had to leave the action after an hour due to a 50/50 tackle that became a 65/35 tackle and Rob almost joined him after John's delayed retribution from last week launched him into the wall. Not Rob's night but I'm sure he'll be back to give it another go next week.
The premiership kicks off next weekend and Zsu Zsu returns from the bog they call Ireland. one things for sure though - UniŁed will only be three points behind the top team, with a bit of luck!

 

15th August 2004: UniŁed as predicted are only three points behind the top team (Arsenal) and two behind my beloved Man City, Zsu Zsu returned from Ireland a pale and rain soaked man and joined the vets in a cracking 4 a side. Zsu Zsu Mastin, Steve Gerrard, Rob and myself faced Bryn, John, Dan and Nigel. I have to admit 4 a side is probably the hardest 90 minutes we have to play on a Sunday evening, no place to hide and non stop running. A we slumped in the dressing room bemoaning our aching muscles John shrewdly pointed out that there are a lot of people in Christies (the top Manchester Cancer Hospital) who would gladly take our place. How right he is although as I sit here typing this report my old body is reminding me that you can only push it so far as I leap out of my chair with cramp in my thigh.
Getting back to the football it was a well contested game with both sides having their moments. Bryn started well scoring some excellent goals but every time Bryn's side nudged ahead Steve came up with a strike for our team. Dan slightly the worse for a Saturday night out defended well but the surprise of the night was Rob who hit some very tasty goals. Next week John goes into Hospital himself for an operation on his foot (probably to have steel toe caps fitted), his last action was to be sent sprawling by Rob who had a wry smile on his face as he walked off the pitch, be warned though Rob, the assassin has a long memory. MOM tonight goes to Steve for his goal scoring in his sides 36 -32 win.
Next week should see the return of a few players from holiday and maybe another new face.
Here's hoping Johns treatment goes well and he's soon back with us.

 

29th August 2004 : Just made it back tonight after spending the weekend at my daughters in Poulton Le Fylde but sadly only eight vets turned out. No football last week as the Leisure Centre Sports Hall was being resurfaced. My usual squad of the two Steves, Chris and myself took on Bryn, Scouse Ron, Zsu Zsu and Keith Proudfoot (Proudie). The new surface was a problem for our team tonight and we failed to adapt. Bryn's team though with their Wimbledonesque style of hit and run well and truly left us beaten. Proudie and Scouse Ron linked together well and provided the ammunition for Bryn to return to his best scoring form. Scouse Ron astonished me with his non stop contribution illustrated by the fact he was still running at five to seven! Zsu Zsu revelled in this team and chipped in with a good few himself. As for my team the less said the better, a couple of rants from the two Steves made not an ounce of difference although I think we all put the effort in. Steve Hart made the save of the night when he threw himself across his goal mouth to fingertip the ball over as it travelled towards the top corner, we all gasped in awe. Steve Gerrard probably has his mind on the forthcoming arrival of his second child due any day so we can excuse the boy somewhat. Anyway MOM goes to Proudie who made all the difference to what's left of Mary's Moaners and I have to reluctantly admit to being well thrashed tonight but, there's always another week and hopefully it will be next week, my last before going over to Greece for my youngest daughters wedding.

 

 

5th September 2004 : Three a side never got better than this as the vets ignored the low turn out and had a fine evenings sport which sadly only lasted 70 minutes. Steve Hart, Zsu Zsu and myself (the three oldest players) came up against Chris, Steve Gerrard and Matt. The benches were out but we resisted two touch football and set off at a furious pace. Steve Hart was on the mark with some great finishing in the first half hour when our side managed to stay 3 goals ahead.  Matt came into his own in the second half hour when we just couldn't cope with his pace. Steve Gerrard and Chris linked well but Chris was finding the roof an easier target than the goals. Steve Hart was forced into goal for the second half hour with a recurring injury probably brought on by those cold damp years spent north of the border, eventually it's bound to get into the bones. On the hour Steve Gerrard's team were 3 goals clear so we decided to go for the first to three as we were all getting knackered.  Some frantic action and more roof shots from Chris ended when Zsu Zsu Mastin and myself used our silky skills to conjure up the required 3 goals against the fading youngsters.
I'm off to Greece on Wednesday for my daughter Katie's wedding on Rhodes so no footy for me next Sunday although I will be out every morning on the beach jogging and keeping in trim. Let's hope Steve Gerrard's new baby arrives this week and all goes well. I advise the boy to start saving now in case it's a girl - weddings don't come cheap my boy!

When the boys are sweating it out next week I'll be relaxing in the Villa Marianna - Pefkos - Rhodes.


Nice view from the balcony - beats the leisure centre hands down....

19th September 2004 : Good to be back at the Leisure Centre after a fantastic week on Rhodes. This was a good chance to test my bouncebackability after a couple of weeks inactivity. Scouse Ron, Bryn, Disley, Dan, Bud and Steve Hart were our opposition. I joined Rob, the returning Robbie, Chris, Zsu Zsu and Matt in a fizzing nights football. Ron's team just about came out on top although I think we gave them a fair old game. Stevie Hart took the MOM with a good all round performance and more than his usual tally of goals including a superb toe ender that left the keeper well beaten. Matt was our top man with some classic goals including one where he flew past Ron and Bryn as if they were statues before lashing the ball in. I did ok tonight but after being manhandled by the over enthusiastic Dan Bolton and refused a free kick I spat more than my dummy out and will have to visit the dentist to get it fixed, very embarrassing!
Great to see Disley back, he's had an infection in a cut he received at a water park, a similar fate to my boy in Falaraki last week, very nasty.... No news from Steve Gerrard on the new baby front or John the assassin after his pedicure, I'll email the lads this week to find out the latest.
Back to the footy tonight and the return of Robbie - another non stop performance by our favourite baggie but no goals although he did manage to avoid Bryn's knee so it can't be all bad. The lads who follow us on at 19:00 are now down to bare bones, only 2 tonight so they may be joining us - the more the merrier - latest rumour on John the assassin whisper it, retirement, I sincerely hope it's just a rumour, it wouldn't be the same without him.

26th September 2004 : Great news tonight with Steve Gerrard's return and the arrival of his  baby daughter. I hope she brings him as much pleasure as my daughters have given me, we wish her a healthy and happy life.
On the football front we just made a 5 a side session tonight with Bryn, Scouse Ron, Disley, Bud Jackson and Karl playing Steve Gerrard, Keith Proudfoot, Chris, Karls young son Jamie and myself. Bryn's team took the first session but when we swapped Disley for young Jamie our team ran out winners. MOM tonight was Bryn who returned to his best goal scoring form. Scouse Ron gave us a his full repertoire of snapping, cussing and moaning  interspersed with the odd shot on goal. Steve celebrated his new arrival with the two best goals of the night, one a screamer from half way, past his own goalkeeper, the second a brilliant volley on the run into the top corner of his opponents net. Nice to see young Jamie mixing it with the old giffers, he certainly gave it a go netting a few nice goals and nut megging me, much to the delight of everyone except me. All in all a good run out but we need a few of the regulars back, hopefully John, Zsu Zsu, Steve Hart and the two Robbies. WHERE ARE PAUL  Garner AND RICHARD??  We need to Know.    I think we need a new page....

3rd October 2004 : Due to a serious virus attack my computer has been unusable for a day or three. I have Norton 2004 and firewalls but still the cursed thing got through and rendered my machine useless. So just a quickie report today (Thursday) about last Sundays superb session. Steve Gerrard, Steve Hart, Chris and myself did battle with Zsu Zsu, Karl, Bud, young Jamie and newbie Tony from Hayfield. My team were joined by Rick for the last half hour.
Someone kindly pointed out to me that Jamie (Karls 11 year old son) was 41 years younger than me which really cheered me up. The boy certainly enjoys playing with the old farts and found the net with a few cheeky goals towards the end of the session unlike his dad who found the net with unerring regularity all night to easily take the MOM. The game was incredible with the scores staying close until on 90 minutes we were level so we had a golden goal shoot out. The tension was high as both teams threw everything forward but when Chris dug out a great through ball I whacked it past Bud for the winner, probably one of the closest games I can remember. In the WHERE ARE THEY NOW spot this week are Harry and Nigel - the list is lengthening.      New page next week

A taste of the past Get Your Kits Out Zine 14 - yes the first of the back issues to be re-issued, this was one of my favourites so download it now and have a giggle or three. You will need  ADOBE READER installed on your computer to read or print it out, if you don't have it you can easily download it free from - COMING SOON ZINE 6 (a collectors piece)
 

DOWNLOAD NOW - Worse than Robbie?   AVI movie 707kb approx 6 mins @ 56k

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