Vets News Archives
October 2002 - May 2003

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Sunday 27th October 2002: Back from Ibiza refreshed and ready for some serious footy at the Leisure centre, and that's just what we got. Bolstered by the young brigade of Lee Potts and Craig Mills we had 11 tonight so it was the old Scouse Ron rotational system which produced some excellent football. Bryn Meredith couldn't miss tonight but it was Ian Lemonzic who netted the pick of the goals with a couple of Howitzers from long range that fair ripped in. I struggled tonight but hopefully will have shaken the sand out of my shoes by next week when we could at last have a full turnout of players and play with three teams for a change. No Steve Hart tonight, he's working in Dusseldorf or Mooro who was working in Strines. There is a slight possibility of Bob Ardern returning to the fold and who knows we might even be seeing Frankie Burton plus I've had a couple of email enquiries, as usual all will be made welcome.
     Scouse Ron was tall

   even as a 1 year old!!!       

Sunday 3rd November 2002 : With bonfires being lit all round the area and a distinct lack of Guy Fawkes available, Bryn decided to stay in tonight! He missed an excellent evenings football with three teams battling it out for a change. New additions, Mike from the Leisure Centre Staff and Andrew Hackney joined  Kevin English and Bud Jackson to form probably the youngest ever team to line up on a Sunday night. Mary's Moaners were strengthened by the return of Mooro who looked like the new cat in goal tonight. Steve Hart was back from Dusseldorf and no doubt inspired by the Jam Tarts win over Hibernian he bore the brunt of his teams goal scoring, winning the first five games on the trot. A stonkin nights football with the youngsters being shown that you can't beat a good old un'. Next weekend sees Man City taking on their nearest neighbours from the borough of Trafford so the lads should be in fine spirit after hopefully a glorious Blue victory............pleeeeaaaaaasssssse

Sunday 10th November 2002 : Oh yes, it's finally happened, the rags were trounced at Maine Road 3-1 which brought all the blues down to the leisure centre to celebrate. Even Alistair turned up and threatened to turn out next week. My night lasted exactly 5 minutes due to a hamstring problem picked up this week playing squash so, I called it a night after the first game. I know how Gary Neville and his brother felt yesterday now, I made no contribution and couldn't play! A good turn though so I left the lads to it, for this week anyhow.  It seems we have rode the storm again after a mini crisis and things are picking up again so it's fingers crossed for good turnouts and good football.

Sunday 17th November 2002 : Back to the Leisure Centre tonight fit and keen for a good game of football and we got it. Myself, Disley, Zou Zou Mastin, John Goodwin and Andrew Hackney took on young Mike, Craig Mills, Kevin English, Chris and Stevie Hart running out 33 - 27 winners after 90 minutes non stop action. Zou Zou hit the two best goals of the night, both trade mark long distance drives into the corners. I was pleased that my injury had cleared up from last week but was considering making an appointment at the doctors in the morning because I thought I was going deaf, then someone pointed out that Scouse Ron and Bryn Meredith weren't playing. The young players are certainly adding to the quality of the game and are a welcome addition to our vets nights, perhaps the future is in good hands after all.....

Sunday 23rd 24th November 2002 : After watching Hyde United and Accrington Stanley play out a thrilling 3-3 draw this afternoon I rolled up at the leisure centre anticipating a similarly pulsating session of five a side - and we got it! At last things seem to be settling down again with another superb night with the youngsters again setting the early pace. Young Lee Potts received some severe bollockings from Scouse Ron (his girlfriends dad) who couldn't understand why he was so tired and listless!!! Disley again notched the pick of the goals with a couple of rippers and Andrew Hackney had one of those nights where he couldn't miss. 11 players tonight (counting young Lee) so it could be back to three teams again next week, I hope so...                                                                              

  1st  December 2002 : December and the season of goodwill to all men is upon us again, and that means we're about to embark on our annual spending and over indulging in food and drink sessions. In my case that means although I hit my heaviest ever on the scales, it looks like I'm going to get heavier still. No wonder I struggled tonight! A really good session started with Stevie Hart smashing in 4 goals without reply as myself, Chris , Ian Lemonzic, Mike and Steve himself took on Mary's Moaners, Scouse Ron, Bryn Meredith, Lee Potts, John Goodwin and Zou Zou Mastin. The game ended after 30 minutes when Craig Mills joined the action with Steve's team leading 11-6. Bryns Police training came in useful tonight when he fell back on his shoot on sight policy which paid dividends early doors. Poor old (or should I say young) Lee still looks lethargic and didn't manage to net until five to seven, I think the lad has other things on his mind!!

8th December 2002 : 16 shopping days to Christmas and I think a few of the boys chose to do that instead of turning out tonight. The six who did though enjoyed a brilliant game with the benches as usual providing stiff opposition in goal. It's amazing how often players faced with only a bench to beat miss the target. With Ian Lemonzic drawing the short straw with myself and Chris it was a hard slog against John Goodwin, Zou Zou Mastin and Mike in a game of two touch football. Zou Zou's mastery and influence in midfield paid off with his side shading it,  final score of 28-27 after ninety lung sapping minutes. Bodies over 50 were never meant to go through this torture but for once we all agreed it was well worth the effort. Lets hope next week sees the return of the shoppers.....

15th December 2002 : Where have all the vets gone? No Bryn, Scouse Ron, Zou Zou, Stevie Hart, Kevin English, Bud Jackson, Lee Potts or Old Mooro. Next week John Goodwin and his missus are off to the Orient to ride the express, lucky sods will be on it on Christmas day...   So tonight myself, Ian lemonzic and John Goodwin took on Young Mike, Craig Mills and Chris in another 3 a side marathon. Goals rained in from everyone tonight but John Goodwin defied the laws of gravity when he did a spectacular dummy and turn to leave mike for dead before planting the ball in the top corner for the goal of the night. Later Mike defied the laws of gravity when John launched him in the air with the foul of the night. Only two or three goals in it all night until Chris 's team shaded it in the last ten minutes 43-38. I have thoroughly enjoyed the last two weeks 3 a sides but will be glad when it returns to the full compliment, it's easier to hide with ten on the pitch.

22nd December 2002 : Last game of the year tonight with  Disley joining Mary's moaners along with Scouse Ron, Bryn Meredith, Zou Zou Mastin and Mike. Chris , Lee Potts, Craig Mills, Steve Hart and myself started off like Brazil, out passing, out pacing and out scoring the moaners who were beginning to get overun. The second half however was a different story and as our younger players tired the moaners saw their chance. Driven on by  Scouse Ron the goals rained in and after eventually drawing level, Bryn got so excited he actually kept the score. In the end the Moaners ran out worthy winners in spite of our late fight back. So it's another great session completed as the New Year beckons, we're still going and threatening to tackle another year of vets footy and who knows what that has in store for us.....                  
All the best to all the lads who have supported our sessions throughout this year and may you continue to do so  -  Malc 

5th January 2003 : Great to get back to the Leisure centre tonight to run off some of that Yuletide stodge, and there was plenty for me to run off tonight and I wasn't on my own. We had nearly the same turn out as the last week before Christmas, plus John Goodwin back from his Asian holiday.  This was a slight disappointment as I thought the lads would be hungry for a game the long break and return in their droves. No new kits on view either this week although I was tempted to try out my new City away top, acquired from a dodgy dealer in Thailand for $15, I think I may chance it next week. On the playing side Bryn continued to hit the net slightly more often than the roof and Chris started the New Year with more than average. As for the rest of us, next week should be better, it can't be much worse. First goal of the New Year was scored by Disley.

12th January 2003: What a good tonking my team got tonight off the Mary's Moaners. Steve Hart, Chris , Craig Mills, Lee Potts and myself took on Bryn Meredith, Scouse Ron, Zou Zou Mastin, John Goodwin and Ian Lemonzic and got out run, out passed, out scored and dare I say out classed, the score at the end of 90 minutes 37 - 19 says it all. Never mind every dog has it's day and no doubt ours will happen soon. Old Mooro was showing me the photo's of the pre Xmas Spanish golf trip with Bryn, Scouse Ron and Mooro himself. Great trip for the lads but apparently there was a bit of trouble in Pamplona when Scouse Ron CHASED the bulls!!!

19th January 2003: Mary's Moaners continued their good form this week, we added Mike and Bud to last weeks team and sent Lee Potts over to the Moaners. It looks like Disley has also defected as a regular Moaner unless like Robbie Fowler, he's been tapped up! I think we will have to go into the market for some old stock, for as Alan Hanson once said, you won't win anything with kids in your team. Looking at it from that angle, the inclusion of Young Mike and Craig brought our average age down to below 40 and that includes my 56 years! The good side tonight was two 6 man squads and a cracking nights football which can't be bad. Also it's been long overdue for the Mary's Moaners to be top dogs after nearly 15 years as underdogs, let them enjoy it while it lasts!!!

26th January 2003: Another excellent nights football with three teams pretty evenly matched and some very good games. This is the standard we all turn up for, some old gits down to the new breed of youngsters (a 40 year gap between the youngest and the oldest). Tonight the Mary's Moaners Moaners just about shaded it, but young Andrew Hackney was the pick of the other players  with some slick goals and passing. Zou Zou joined myself and Bud with Craig Mills doing our running. The fact that Keith left himself out of the Moaners team  might be the beginning of the end of his days with the holy ones for the master playmaker. If this is the case then I can see him joining my squad as playmaker and councillor. No John Goodwin tonight and Mooro looks to have hung up his pumps although you never know with the worlds greatest lover, he once said to me, "playing for the Mary's Moaners can be temperamental. That's 90% temper and 10% mental."

2nd February 2003: Where the quality of football is improving all the time the number of Vets participating is getting a bit thin on the ground. Nine players tonight but three of those were youngsters. It looks like Tony Moore has joined Tony Gavin in hanging his boots up due to ill health and old age. In Mooro's case it's shortage of breath, something that afflicts more than one of us including myself. No Bud or Scouse Ron tonight (probably offended by King Kev's anti Liverpool remarks) or the big Scottie lad but still it was another fizzing session with lots of good football and competitive games. Hopefully all will return next week so we can have another crack at the Mary's Moaners although they could be over staffed next week, unless our bid for Zou Zou has been successful.

9th February 2003: No football for me this week due to flu - my spirits were raised however watching my glorious Blues get a great result at Gold TraŁŁord. I sat and listened to the commentary team extolling the virtues of just about anything that moves at OT for 85 minutes then - the Goat struck yet again. No mention about the most expensive central defender in the country going walkabouts - Scouse Ron would rip into any vet who stood watching as an opponent picked his spot! City obviously used this match as another warm up game for Robbie as he searches for the match fitness he patently misses, I know just how he feels.

16th February 2003: It's funny how the previous days football is often reflected in Sundays five a side Vets session. We've had Enkleman goalkeeping howlers and Michael Owen impersonations but tonight we had Scouse Ron and Kevin English doing their Ryan Giggs misses a glaring open goal routine. On any other night this may have gone unnoticed but cries of "Ryan!" greeted their blunders tonight. Nine tonight with Stevie Hart marking his return with an early flourish of goals, Scouse Ron to his credit netted a bagful and Zou Zou Mastin weighed in with some nifty finishes. John the assassin had one of those nights but it was well worth the effort tonight, good stuff after watching Ryan make a tosser of himself in front of 67,000 Southerners.

23rd February 2003: What sweet revenge tonight as myself, Steve Hart, Chris and young guns Craig and Scott Mills took the Mary's Moaners to the cleaners. John Goodwin, Scouse Ron, Lee Potts and Zou Zou Mastin were bolstered by the inclusion of Ian Huddleston for the missing Bryn Meredith but were unable to cope with the swift passing and clinical finishing of a better all round team. A good guide of how you deal with the Moaners is the amount of vebals dished out by Scouse Ron, well tonight he was off the Richter scale with Ian in particular coming in for some serious berating. Next week I won't be playing as I will be on a visit to the Highlands of Scotland (pictured right) for a break with Janice so I will do some altitude training in preparation for the forthcoming session in a fortnight. Hopefully I will get to see Brechin City as well while I'm up there!

9th March 2003: My week in Scotland was absolutely stunning, only marginally spoilt by the number of Jocko's living up there. I did get to see Brechin and they were awesome beating Hamilton Accies 4-1 with a 30 yarder in the first minute! This division two game was far superior to the Division One game I watched at Inverness Cally who beat Arbroath 2-0, I've seen better football in the Unibond premier league. After the long drive home (420 miles) I arrived just in time for the 5 a side vets session at the Leisure centre. Steve Hart decided to join the Mary's moaners for the night with John Goodwin, Zou Zou Mastin and Bryn Meredith. I played with Chris , Craig Mills and the returning Robbie. Although my team lost by a couple of goals (26 - 24) we did have the star of the night as Robbie scored at will from every conceivable angle in spite of some "enthusiastic" tackles off John the assassin. Steve Hart got into the spirit in true Mary's moaners style by constantly challenging the scoreline but will probably return to normal when he next plays against the moaners. Good nights sport all round.

16th March 2003: What a cracking day today, watched Robbie Fowler score the winner for the glorious Blues and then had an excellent 5 a side session at the leisure centre. Nine players tonight with young Mike, Kevin, Bud, Bryn, Scouse Ron, Chris, Zou Zou and myself. Bryn was in one of his can't miss moods tonight with a glut of goals but all round a really well contested night. Bud Jackson had the miss of the night and to compound his embarrassment, minutes later he put through his own goal. Scouse Ron returned from his back injury but was very subdued, there were times when I thought I had gone deaf! Next week we should have three teams with tonight's players plus Steve Hart, Robbie and Craig Mills.

23rd March 2003:
For some unknown reason we sometimes have a greats nights football, then the following week when you would expect everyone to return for more of the same, the numbers fall. This was the case this week when myself, Chris and Scouse Ron took on John Goodwin, Robbie Westwood and Keith Mastin in a 3 a side game. Things were going OK until 35 minutes in when Ron decided he was in a crap team (losing 12-11 at the time), I was playing with a pulled muscle and although he was scoring freely Chris wasn't up to the mark! So we swapped Ron for Zou Zou Mastin and started again. Ron instantly transformed the other team into an unorganised mess while my own side went from strength to strength running out 20-7 winners. John and Robbie who had been running us ragged suddenly lost all their confidence and in the end were in disarray. Zou Zou thrived on playing in a touch team and Chris and myself couldn't stop scoring. The common denominator was obvious, we all have a stinker now and then but to blame it on the players around you is pretty short sighted - with Bryn and Steve both working and hopefully returning next week we need to get the numbers back up but, with it being Mothers Day, I won't hold my breath.

30th March 2003: There was a distinct lack of Mary's moaners on view tonight at the leisure centre which I am sure had no bearing on the excellent session. Keith Mastin was their sole representative in the nine who turned up. we had Steve Hart back no doubt buoyed by the superb victory for the Jocko's over Iceland and a new player in Andy Jepson. Andrew Hackney, Mike, Chris , Bud Jackson, Robbie Westwood and myself made up the numbers. Some very good games were highlighted by spectacular goals none more so than Stevie Harts 30 yard toe bunger that bent and swerved like an out of control Iraqi scud that somehow ended up in the top corner.  Chris 's England shirt made its second appearance, will he still be proud to wear it next week after the Turkey match? Final thought - Dumbo Beckham reckons if Englands match against   Liechtenstein took peoples minds off the war for five minutes then it was a good thing!!! Well Dumbo if you want to take your mind off the war for an hour and a half come and play against the vets next week, Scouse Ron and the boys will make sure Iraq will be the last thing on your mind you plonker.

6th April 2003 : What a crap week for me this week,  I watched City Youth go out of the Youth Cup to Middlesbrough (see Manchester City), lost to a woman playing squash for New Mills at West Heaton on Thursday and to finish it off City lose at Bolton and UniŁed go joint top of the premiership yesterday. So it was a great relief to get it all out of my system tonight in a very good 5 a side vets session at the Leisure Centre. Disley returned tonight, good to see him back, and just to show us he hadn't lost any of his enthusiasm he netted a hat trick in one game, a very good one too. Bryn, John, Craig and Gary also returned, Bryn left his mark with three goals from his own half during the evening. Zou Zou, Chris , Mike and Robbie made up the 11 starters and I can honestly say most of us had our moments tonight in a very competitive session. I keep saying it but with players to return we could yet get back to the magic 15 next week and three teams. No Robbie or Mike though...

13th April 2003 : Tonight we are lucky to a our first guest writer, an idea I have been toying with for a while now. Visiting the country on his weeks holiday is Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf the Iraqi Minister of information who has penned tonight's report.    Greetings infidels of Britain. I had a great time tonight watching the New Mills Veterans fight out their games, they put up a better battle than the cowardly Coalition forces. I was very impressed with the skills of Bud Jackson and the amazing pace of Christian , he could run for Iraq. There were one or two conflicts tonight involving the assassin John Goodwin but luckily Scouse Ron the peacemaker stepped in to protect the players from threats. The big man Disley looked like a statue of our glorious leader, especially when he fell over. I thought Zou Zou Mastin looked suspiciously like a Jewish Rabbi, we may scud his house, I've noted his address. I felt sorry for Malc, his skills are totally wasted on this crowd, his darting runs, slick passing and deadly finishing were the highlight of my night. I had to leave early though because I think PC Meredith may have clocked me, perhaps the Uniform gave me away but you can't take chances. So it's back to Iraq to celebrate our magnificent victory, thanks though boys for a good nights sport.

20th April 2003 : After a day in the garden on Easter Sunday I was looking forward to the football tonight although I didn't expect a large turnout. It was quite a surprise to find 11 of us with Paul from the Leisure Centre Staff making his debut, and a pretty good one at that. No Zou Zou, Steve Hart or Chris tonight but the youngsters made sure we had a good nights football, one of the best for a long while with hat tricks from Bryn,  Robbie and Craig Mills. Next Saturday the lads are taking on Furness Vale at 11 a side (proper footy), I'm a bit miffed because I'm away for the weekend but will be back for next Sunday night. I'll get one of the lads to do a report as it's been a while since we played on the grass. Sad news has arrived from Iraq where Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf has apparently hanged himself although the suicide note clearly stated he was not dead, merely resting..... he will be sadly missed!

27th April 2003 : Enjoyed my weekend in Blackpool and only just made it back for the football. Sadly we only managed to get 9 players yesterday for the game at Furness Vale, perhaps next time we'll spend a bit more time organising. The result was unimportant, suffice to say we lost, but the boys who did turn out gave it a go against a regular Saturday team but eventually ran out of steam. Disley and Scouse Ron were the only survivors to make Sunday night and they were joined by John Goodwin, Chris and Keith Mastin. Steve Hart returned from Bangkok tanned and portly to join myself (pale and portly), the Mills brothers and Mike. A good nights football was had by all but as Ron and Disley tired our side dominated to eventually finish on 29-24 not including the golden Goal. 

4th May 2003 : May already and a Bank Holiday weekend so it was quite a surprise when only five turned out tonight. Myself, Chris , Steve Hart,  Zou Zou Mastin and Robbie were all we could muster but we still made a game of it. We played two against two with one goal, first to three and one of the winning team changes with the goalkeeper. I paired up with Robbie at the start and it took about 10 games before we got our first win and a well earned rest as goalkeeper, my lack of fitness was a heavy handicap for Robbie to carry. This became more apparent when Robbie teamed up with Steve Hart, a partnership made in heaven. With Robbies skills as a playmaker coming to the fore and Steve's ability to toe poke goals from almost anywhere. It might be interesting after tonight to try a "best pairs" night as it did make for some interesting football. Chris and Zou Zou looked a likely top team but there again, who could we get to pair up with Scouse Ron???

11th May 2003 :
Not really in the mood tonight after the Blues lost their last game at Maine Road - lets hope that Eastfields brings us better fortunes, or at least some sort of winning consistency. Nine tonight with Bryn, Scouse Ron, Zou Zou, Mike, Craig, Steve, John, Disley and myself. Bryn and Steve Hart were in fine goal scoring form but Scouse Ron turned back the years with three goals off the wall. No Chris this week, I hope he managed to get a ticket for Maine Road although the result was bad it must have been a memorable day. Chris was born just round the corner from the ground so it would be fitting if he managed to see the last game played there. I think I will start a new page next week, maybe a new layout, we will see.......

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