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The Vets Archives
Just in case you are the slightest bit interested, I have archived the previous Vets News Pages from January 2001. It's quite interesting to look back on a few of the events that have occurred during our past games, some of them amusing and some of them downright sad. Click the button at the top.

Check out these boys to see how easy it is to control a ball. 
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Best 5 a side goal ever

VETS DEBUTS
 


7th Jan 2001 Gary Sharp
Billy Ney
   4th Feb Nigel Reardon

22nd April Dave Kidd

18th Nov 2003 Matt Pink
Steve Gerrard

 

5th May 2013 Ade Hewitt

 

See Paulo as you've never seen him before  Click Here

 

 

New Mills Vets  5 a side football at the
Leisure Centre New Mills High Peak
17:30 - 19:00 every Sunday evening.
Come and join us, all you need is a pair of trainers and a dodgy kit and you're up and gasping for air.



Some of our YouTube's

Penalty or What?
Bryn Misses a Sitter
Only One Winner Here
Paulo Strikes Like Larsson

Proudy & Ron
 Michael Jackson
 Evans Above

  Will Ron ever score?



How bad are Scottish Goal keepers?


 


 

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Click above to view the Vets Hall of Fame. Email me your nomination to be included.


VETS PLAYER OF THE YEAR
2014
James Kemp

Keep up with past reports in the excellent Vets Archives
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a superb site excellently put
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Sunday 21st August 2016 : Superb turnout again at the Leisure Centre this evening and we were rewarded with an equally superb 5 a side session. Highlight of the night was the return of Nigel Caldwell for his first appearance since September of last year after serious surgery to his nose and face. Welcome back Nigel, you have been missed. Nigel was pretty effective in the Strollers line up defending as if he'd never been away. Also returning from injury was Rick Pott who gingerly gave his knee a good hours workout, finding the net on the way for the Strollers. Rick Evans again played well and he and Ade Hewitt provided most of the goals for the Strollers while Graham Levine threw himself about in nets. Mary's Moaners gave the Old Guns a run for their money with debutant Ryan Miekel, the giant Jocko replacing the missing Johnboy, firing in a few neat goals to boot. This raises the question of how many foreign players we allow in a team with Ronnie Dooley adding to the skirt wearers and our cockney hippie leader Zsu Zsu Mastin spending his recreation time in Eire with the Paddies, he definitely has Celtic leanings..... Anyway young Chris Podmore was again the hub which Mary's Moaners revolve round tackling like a deluded combine harvester and firing in spectacular goals but, on the night it was The Old Guns who just about shaded things. Josh Mackie was unstoppable as a striker benefiting from the more experienced older legs of Proudy, Chris Anthony and Chris Todd as they loaded the Guns, Josh pulled the triggers. Paulo Garner quietly got on with his game for the Moaners who came on strong at the end but the night belonged to our returning hero's Nigel and Pottie, great to have them back.

 Mary's Moaners
Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore
Paul Garner
Ryan Miekel
Ronnie Dooley
The Old Guns
 Keith Proudfoot
Josh Mackie
Chris Todd
Malc Hough
Chris Anthony
 The Strollers
Graham Levine

Rick Pott
Nigel Caldwell
Ade Hewitt
Rick Evans

 

 

 


 

Sunday 28th August 2016 :After the recent influx of returning vets, we were again reduced to nine willing soles on this Bank Holiday weekend. In true vets spirit they made the best of it. The four youngish Guns would play a mixture of Moaners. Red line shooting only for the team with the advantage. Some weeks this foursome has it all their own way, not tonight. In the first two games the Guns were soundly beaten, their invisible goal keeper nowhere to be seen. Fish in a barrel shooting from Jonny, Rick Evans and Keith Proudfoot slamming in the goals. Ronny and Paulo keeping the supply chain going.
Rick Westwood and Chris Podmore found the net with the occasional beauty, Anthony nearly broke sweat and Rick Pott sweated too much.
In the third Rubber Potty went to the balcony resting this aching knees. Paulo transferred over to the Guns, and under his stewardship they managed a narrow 10-9 win. In an exciting 4 on 4 contest. The last game was a non -event. The Moaners rolling over the disinterested and weary Guns.
Two toilet trips mid -session for some players this week. Our old friend Mr Prostate making an unwelcome return. When you got to go you got to go. Most enjoyable session and as ever we look forward to the next game, hopefully with a glut of veterans past and present.
Once again I have to thank our guest writer for his contribution, hopefully we'll be back up to full strength next weekend.

 Mary's Moaners
Rick Evans
John Goodwin
Paul Garner
Keith Proudfoot
Ronnie Dooley
The Youngish Guns
Rick Pott
Anthony Graham
Rick Westwood
Chris Podmore

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 4th September 2016 :  Back to a full turn out tonight a a fair old scrap it turned out. The Young Guns kicked off in style ripping into both teams at a furious pace. Ade Hewitt stepped into the team and was scoring for fun, the Glossop Scouser was in deadly form. Josh and Rich were running amok with Rick Pott seemingly free from his knee problems defending like a good 'un. But in the fifth game a controversial refereeing decision in the last minute awarded a penalty for alleged encroachment in the area by Anthony Graham. Chris Podmore duly stroked the penalty home leaving the game at 2-2. This seemingly knocked the stuffing out of the Young Guns allowing the Strollers to beat them in their next two games with Graham Mason ripping them apart with his clinical left foot. After scoring a hat trick in his first game against the Moaners he grabbed a further two hat tricks against the Young Guns hitting his second in a seven one thrashing in the penultimate game. This session was basically a game of three halves with the Young Guns setting off like a steam train then the Strollers taking over the rest of the session with Mary's Moaners picking up the scraps. The Assassin reappeared with Johnboy notching up big hits against Ade, James and Graham Mason  but it all ended on a friendly note when the tradition hand shakes left everyone smiling.
We need more sessions like this, lots to admire and good spirit prevailing - that's what the Vets are all about.

 Mary's Moaners
John Goodwin
Chris Podmore
Paul Garner
Graham Levine
Ronnie Dooley
The Young Guns
Rick Pott
Josh Mackie
Ade Hewitt
Anthony Graham
Rick Westwood
 The Strollers
Keith Proudfoot
Chris Todd
Nigel Caldwell
Malc Hough
Graham Mason
James Kemp

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 11th September 2016 : With the smell of victory at Old Trafford still in my nostrils from City's triumph yesterday over their near neighbours from Stretford I rolled up at the Leisure Centre for my weekly dose of 5 a side footy full of the joys of err Autumn. I was joined by 16 other of the boys which included fellow Blues, Chris Anthony, Rick Pott and the returning Dave Vernon who last appeared exactly 2 years ago to the week.
The Young Guns bolstered by the not so young Keith Proudfoot were the best team on the night who went the whole evening avoiding defeat until the last game. Mary's Moaners managed to snatch a couple of draws from them but they were just too strong on the night. As usual the goals flowed throughout their team with Proudy rattling one particular rocket past me in nets that was just too hot to handle. Mary's Moaners were not too far behind the Young Guns with Paulo Garner in particular directing the Mary's Band in front of him like Syd Lawrence, he was definitely "In the Mood."
Chris Todd guesting for the Moaners formed a mid field partnership with Ronnie Dooley to shoot down The Strollers but numerous draws between the two sides were the order of the night. Rick Pott hit a couple of hat tricks against the Moaners but only managed to sneak one past me.
Dave Vernon showed he'd lost none of his enthusiasm for the game but suffered in front of goal, Ade Hewitt on the other hand is getting back to his best banging in most of the Strollers goals. So overall a good night for the Young Guns although they did come a cropper to my Strollers team in the last game of the night. Going down to a cricket score which registered on the Richter Scale with Dave Brown, James Kemp, John Goodwin (guesting for Chris Anthony), Ade and Dave Vernon all finding the back of their net which just goes to prove, footballs a funny old game innit,,,, mind you José Mourinho isn't laughing today.

 Mary's Moaners
John Goodwin
Chris Podmore
Paul Garner
Chris Todd
Keith Mastin
Ronnie Dooley
The Young Guns
Rick Pott
Josh Mackie
Keith Proudfoot
Anthony Graham
Rick Westwood
 The Strollers
Dave Brown

Chris Anthony
Dave Vernon
Malc Hough
James Kemp
Ade Hewitt

 

 

Sunday18th September 2016 :There’s always an issue with 14 players turning up whether to mix teams to share out equally the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, or whether to keep settled teams to allow for continuity. Tonight we decided to remain settled despite the terrifying look of the Young Guns, and this led to an evening of thrills, spills and upsets, with Rick Pott doing most of the spills but Mary’s Moaners doing the thrills and upsets. After comfortably beating the Young Guns 2-0 in the first match, they enjoyed a brief run of success before others muscled in, including the Old Hands, who gave the Moaners a bit of a drubbing in the penultimate match.

Overall a good evening but we await the return of Malc ‘The Cat’ Hough, and Paulo ‘Long Shot’ Garner.
 
Thanks to our guest reporter for this rather better than late match report.
 Super Moaners
John Goodwin
Chris Podmore
Ronnie Dooley
Keith Mastin
Rick Evans

 
Young Guns
Rick Pott
Josh Mackie
Anthony Graham
Rick Westwood

  Old Hands
Nigel Caldwell
Dave Brown

Keith Proudfoot
Ade Hewitt
Chris Anthony

ISunday 25th September 2016 : In the week that saw the first head to head
debate in the US Presidential Election, 10 players went head to head in the latest instalment of the New Mills Vets Football.
What ensued were three close games of end to end action with the polls and the goals switching from one side to the other.
In a cracking first game the Clintons raced into a 5 goal lead only to be pegged back with some strong debating from The Trumps, by the end it was 9 all and The Trumps took the vote as Rick Westwood found the Clinton defence bereft of ideas with an easy strike.
After the break The Clintons came storming back with plenty of great goals from Ade Hewitt and Chris Podmore with Johnboy Goodwin poaching a few. The Trumps themselves got back in it with Anthony Graham and Rick Westwood leading the line. Another close game but The Clintons edged it by a couple of goals.
With only 20 minutes to go it was neck and neck and not looking likely that a third game will go the distance, but despite popular reports The Clinton's stamina was a match for anyone as The Trumps faded. A couple of great goals by James Kemp who found his shooting boots lead the way and it turned into an easy victory for The Clintons.
So, on the night The Clintons took the spoils and look favourites for the White House, but, as they say, a week is a long time in politics so tune in next week for more thrills and spills. Word on the street is that a big fella named Sam is at a loose end and may show up.
Many Thanks to our guest reporter for this superb contribution. I should be back on Sunday either as player or spectator, some would say that's what I normally do!!
 

 The Clintons
John Goodwin
Chris Podmore
James Kemp
Ade Hewitt
Keith Mastin

 The Trumps
Rick Pott
Dave Brown
Anthony Graham
Rick Westwood
Nigel Caldwell

 

 


 

 

 

Sunday 2nd October 2016 :Seventeen staggering soles filled the footballing area this week making up three teams to contest this Sundays bragging rights. Not much room for error in these six a side games and most were decided by the odd goal. This evenings belters coming from James Kemp with a rocket of a volley on the run. Rick Westwood’s hat trick of howitzers, Pink booted Graham Levine’s long distance launches,  a classic side footer from Keith Mastin, plus a rare brace from Dave Vernon after his left foot screamer was cruelly ruled out by the Referee, not forgetting Anthony Grahams solo top corner sensation.
The Young Guns set the early pace with a couple of wins, but were halted by the Moaners in a 1-1 draw. Rick Evans equaliser stopping their winning streak. The New look Strollers won all but one of their games against the Moaners . Graham Mason setting the plays, with Chris Anthony and Chris Todd in the right place at the right time to slot home the goals. New Boy Neil defended like a pro, James Kemp covered every inch of the court and with Dave Vernon playing like his Argentine name sake (it needs pointing out at this point that our guest writer assumed Dave's surname was Veron, I reluctantly edited it) the team was a solid unit.
The Young Guns seemed to have no trouble dismantling the Strollers with a 100% record against them tonight. Twinkle toes Anthony Graham and Tippy Tappy Josh Mackie creating scoring options for Rick Pott and Rick Westwood to score. Graham Levine had a great game christening his Salmon slippers  in style with some fine strikes.
The Moaners had a mixed night. Drawing two games  against the Young Guns then beating them in the final match. However for the most part they were just not at the races. Chris Podmore eventually found his scoring boots as did Rick Evans. Ronny Dooley got stuck in and Paulo made a tentative return, not wanting to risk his knee too much. Dave Brown slotted in well with Keith  Mastin at the back but, as a team they were far too slack at marking. The Moaners motto still holds true “ If Laughter was goals, they would be winning every game 6-0 “.
Great entertainment as always proving no matter what state the professional game is in, at grass roots its thriving. Our roots might be old, knarred and the bark dropping off but we all feel the enthusiasm of Youth for an hour and a half on a Sunday Evening.

Founding Father Malc Hough returned to the Press box this  week with his long lens, lets hope he is soon back between the sticks doing the Deano Zoff.      

Corking report from our guest writer, I hope to be back before the end of the month
 Super Moaners
Paul Garner
Chris Podmore
Ronnie Dooley
Keith Mastin
Rick Evans

Dave Brown


 
Not So Young Guns
Rick Pott
Josh Mackie
Anthony Graham
Rick Westwood
Graham Levine

  Strollers
Dave Vernon
Chris Todd
Graham Mason
James Kemp
Chris Anthony
Neil ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 9th October 2016 :The introduction of a brand new ball this week would no doubt fool some of our regulars, so used to playing with a misshapen egg. The ball actually missed the first game as pump failure prevented it from making its debut. Ronny Dooley took it upon himself to repair the situation. Handling the spherical object like the severed head of an English Knight on the banks of Bannockburn (Malc - hahaha). Meanwhile the Young Guns were putting the Strollers to the sword , Josh Mackie in excellent form scoring some crackers. They then squeezed out a 1-0 victory against the Moaners. No team ran away with it this evening all three chalking up roughly the same amount of Wins, Draws and losses. The Young Guns beaten by the Moaners and Spanked by the Strollers before the hour. Goal keeping excellence from Graham Levine, James Kemp and Chris Todd made for close encounters. John Goodwin having not seen Graham’s boots last week, likened the laces to the colour of Netball Players nipples (more laughs from Malc). This week not as prolific for the Pink Pumps.
Rick Westwood wearing a knee brace still gave everyone the run around, both he and Anthony Graham slotting in some quality goals. Rick Pott also fired home to complement his younger team mates. Player of the week Nigel Caldwell, produced player of the year form. Launching two or three rocket shots into the net and as always tenacious in the tackle.
The Moaners gathered most of their wins in the last half hour, Chris Podmore, John Goodwin and Ronny Dooley on target. Dave Brown had a quiet game for the Strollers (Shush) but still found the net with a fine curling drive. Paul Garner and Keith Mastin hassled and harried at their own pace content with defensive duties this evening. Another fast furious and fun packed night of football . All smiles when the clock struck 7:00, with everyone looking forward to more of the same next week.

 Mary's Moaners
Paul Garner
Chris Podmore
Ronnie Dooley
Keith Mastin
John Goodwin

 Young Guns
Rick Pott
Josh Mackie
Anthony Graham
Rick Westwood

  Strollers
Chris Todd
James Kemp
Graham Levine
Dave Brown
Nigel Caldwell
 

Sunday 16th October 2016 : Well, we had a healthy turnout of thirteen of the lads tonight who all contributed to make for a stonkin' session. No outright winners tonight except for the game of football itself. The games were all close with plenty of drawn games between the three equally balanced teams. The Strollers held their own with Graham Levine smacking in a couple of superb long rangers, one from inside his own half - those pink slippers are sure doing the business. Ade Hewitt and Chris Todd also put their names into the scoring ring whilst Dave Brown was grafting away at the back. Talking about the back, Rick Pott has fitted into his defensive role like a proverbial glove although he did throw off his protective shackles to notch a corking brace in one game. Anthony, Rich and Josh played some brilliant stuff together to truly justify their Young Guns tag whilst I made a comfortable comeback in goals shipping only eight goals for them - what a pleasure it is being included in their team. Mary's Moaners made life uncomfortable for their opponents this evening, Ronnie Dooley working his Scottish socks off doing the work of two covering for the absent Paulo Garner. Special mention to our old Cockney Hippie leader Zsu Zsu Mastin who rattled one particular fierce drive past me from a wide angle - brilliant goal! Chris Podmore never ceases to amaze me with his constant pressing and drive, leaves me breathless. Johboy stomped round like a wounded tiger prowling about at the heart of everything Mary's Moaners tackling shooting, cocking up passes and delivering an equal amount of neat flicks and lay offs.
So all in all a really spanking session played at pace in fine competitive spirit, more next week please....

 Mary's Moaners
Chris Podmore
Ronnie Dooley
Keith Mastin
John Goodwin

 Young Guns
Rick Pott
Josh Mackie
Anthony Graham
Rick Westwood
Malc Hough

  Strollers
Chris Todd
Graham Levine
Dave Brown
Ade Hewitt

 

 

 

Sunday 23rd October 2016 : After watching my beloved City stutter to a disjointed draw against Southampton at the Etihad, I raced back to the Leisure Centre for an equally disjointed 5 a side session with the Vets. It wasn't the best of what we have produced recently but at least we got a decent turn out of 15 of the boys.
The Strollers just about took the honours this evening with the team knitting together nicely, going unbeaten against Mary's and losing only three to the Young Guns. Chris Todd provided much of the Strollers attacking moves and linked well with Graham Levine who was never shy of ripping in a volley or three. Nigel Caldwell defended like only Nigel does, coolly blocking and tackling like a good 'un. Ade Hewitt has definitely found his scoring touch helping himself to a sack full ably backed up by Kempo who hit two or three match winners. Mary's it has to said have had better nights although Ronnie Dooley made a decent fist of it and Chris Podmore and Paulo Garner were always busy but, with Zsu Zsu Mastin hitting 69 years of age this week, they were just not at the races. My team, the Young Guns were suffering from pre match hangovers and although they put together some delightful moves lacked consistency and I made more errors than Claudio Bravo which didn't help matters. Rick Pott plugged away and never gave up but the night belonged to The Strollers.

Mary's Moaners
Chris Podmore
Ronnie Dooley
Keith Mastin
Dave Brown
Paul Garner


 Young Guns
Rick Pott
Josh Mackie
Anthony Graham
Rick Westwood
Malc Hough

  Strollers
Chris Todd
Graham Levine
Ade Hewitt
Nigel Caldwell
James Kemp

Sunday 30th October 2016 : Halloween eve, dark and chilly nights have returned once more . Sixteen creatures of the night crawled from their holes and burrows this evening in search of a blood curdling game of football. The first match went the way of the Young Zombies sneaking a 1-0 win against the Bloody Mary's. Josh Mackie ghosting in unnoticed to slot home. Horrific defending in the first few minutes of the next match handed the Zombies their next win. Mad Scientists Dave Brown and Chris Anthony conspired for the first two. Then Wolf -man Graham Levine's over hit back pass put them three up. No way back for the Grave Robbers whose flesh was well and truly stripped by the rampant Zombies. Fiendish Phantom Paulo, released the chains holding Ronny “The Razor “ Dooley, allowing him to clatter through a mass of Zombie bodies on his way to inflict their first loss of the night.
In the remaining fixtures draws and wins for all our teams though the Grave Robbers never managed to kill off the Bloody Mary's.  Vampire Counts Keith Mastin, Chris Podmore and John Goodwin all finding the back of the….. neck!  Dave Vernon used every uncoordinated limb in his body, that Dr Frankenstein had given him, covering more hallowed ground than any other monster. The Lost Boys Rick Westwood and Anthony Graham hovered and harassed under the full moon, rewarded with goals of wonder.
Chris “Sweeney” Todd, put in a fine performance slicing and cutting all night. Hob Goblin Hough became so enthralled with this satanic orgy, that he felled the Giant Ogre Rick Pott, savage indeed considering they were on the same team. The night crawler James Kemp had one of those games, wishing he had not made the long trip from Hades. By the time the Hunchback of Notre dame rang the bell for full time. All evil creatures had had their fill of blood, slipping back into the dark places in the world. ………Well until next week anyway.

Superb report by our guest correspondent.

  BLOODY MARY'S
Chris Podmore
Ronnie Dooley
Keith Mastin
John Goodwin

Paul Garner


 Young ZOMBIES
Rick Pott
Josh Mackie
Anthony Graham
Rick Westwood
Malc Hough

  GRAVE ROBBERS 
Chris Todd
Graham Levine
James Kemp
Dave Brown
Dave Vernon

Chris Anthony

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 6th November 2016 : The evening after Bonfire Night went off like a damp squid, fizzled for a while and then ran out of sparkle. In the first two games the Young Guns ripped into Mary's Moaners like a thunder clapper bangin' in the goals from all angles. Then just as we drew breath the Strollers gave them a rocket up their Jacksie when Johnboy rasped one in from the wing. It took two great strikes from Rick Westwood and Josh to restore the Young Guns superiority before Anthony Graham made the game safe. However, Rick Pott twisted his knee whist crossing the ball and reluctantly had to retire at the end of the game. This brought about a team shuffle with Johnboy joining the Young Guns and James dropping into Mary's Moaners. The next game saw the Young Guns go into an 8-2 lead in a first to ten contest with Johnboy hitting the majority of the goals with the regularity of a rip rap. Then we saw a resurgence from Mary's Moaners with a rocket from Paulo and explosive efforts from Ronnie Dooley, Chris Podmore and Chris Todd. Dave Brown got in on the act and suddenly it was 8-7. Josh Mackie nipped in with a sparkler to stretch the lead but James Kemp pulled another one out of the fire and it was 9-8. Cometh the hour cometh the man and it was a penny for the guy  as I popped up and nicked the ball off Dave Browns toe, lit the fuse by feeding the ball to Rick Westwood who detonated it into Mary's Net for the winner. The final game ended well before completion as the clock struck seven  so another interesting session came to an end and we dragged ourselves out into the cold night air - winter has arrived.

Mary's Moaners
Chris Podmore
Ronnie Dooley
Keith Mastin
Dave Brown
Paul Garner

James Kemp

 Young Guns
Rick Pott
Josh Mackie
Anthony Graham
Rick Westwood
Malc Hough
Chris Todd
John Goodwin

 

 

 

 

Sunday 13th November 2016 : Remembrance Sunday saw thirteen of the boys down at the Leisure Centre for the Sunday night bragging rights. Well there was no clear winner tonight as we fought out some tough old games, many ending up as draws. The Young Guns were without Josh Mackie who was loaned out to the Strollers for some reason. Zsu Zsu Mastin also found himself on a short term loan to the Strollers along with James Kemp. James spent the night on the end of some spectacular tumbles and collisions which didn't go unnoticed by our in house stunt man, Rick Pott. Back to the football, Dave Vernon slipped into the Moaners with great effect certainly turning in top goal keeping performances to go with his non stop tackling and the odd toe ender flying into the onion bag. The Young Guns were miss firing on all fronts tonight, although Anthony Graham and Chris Anthony managed a few decent strikes most of their efforts were high wide and not so handsome. The Strollers won a few, lost a few and drew a few with Josh Mackie their main threat.
Other than Dave Vernon the goal keeping tonight wasn't exactly anything to write home about. I don't know if guest goal keepers were influenced by can't be arsed itus but in my case I was just crap!
Anyway, we had a decent run out considering Rick Westwood, Rick Pott and Paulo Garner were all carrying worrying injuries and to add to that list - James Kemp ended the session with sore ribs after his dices with the Leisure Centre floor.

We have a change in Kick Off times coming up from the first week in December. We will be starting at 5-15pm and playing for the usual hour and a half unless we have only 10 players in which case we will probably play for only one hour (or pay £6 and play for 90 minutes) Twelve players or more and we will revert to the usual hour and a half. The Centre will close at  7-00pm so players who use the showers will have 15 minutes.

Mary's Moaners
Chris Podmore
Ronnie Dooley
Dave Vernon
Paul Garner


 Young Guns
Rick Pott
Chris Anthony
Anthony Graham
Rick Westwood
Malc Hough

  Strollers
Keith Mastin
James Kemp
Josh Mackie
Dave Brown

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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