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Just in case you are the slightest bit interested, I have archived the previous Vets News Pages from January 2001. It's quite interesting to look back on a few of the events that have occurred during our past games, some of them amusing and some of them downright sad. Click the button at the top.

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Best 5 a side goal ever

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7th Jan 2001 Gary Sharp
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   4th Feb Nigel Reardon

22nd April Dave Kidd

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5th May 2013 Ade Hewitt

 

 

 

 

New Mills Vets  5 a side football at the
Leisure Centre New Mills High Peak
17:30 - 19:00 every Sunday evening.
Come and join us, all you need is a pair of trainers and a dodgy kit and you're up and gasping for air.



Some of our YouTube's

Penalty or What?
Bryn Misses a Sitter
Only One Winner Here
Paulo Strikes Like Larsson

Proudy & Ron
 Michael Jackson
 Evans Above

  Will Ron ever score?

How to Bang 'em In

NEW MILLS VETS
Fantasy Football League

  # Team Manager GW TOT
1 Lads on Toure Malc Hough 62 634
2 GARNO'S GHOSTS Paul Garner 59 587
3 Podlings fc Chris Podmore 54 585
4 Pulised. Ricc Westwood 57 585
5 Berocca Juniors Josh Mackie 49 539
6 Inter MeNan Anthony Graham 43 514
7 Fergies Flops Ronnie Dooley 49 492


 Malc still leads the way

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Click above to view the Vets Hall of Fame. Email me your nomination to be included.


VETS PLAYER OF THE YEAR
2014
James Kemp

Keep up with past reports in the excellent Vets Archives
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Check Out Paulo's Mid Week
Sessions with  Walton Wednesday

a superb site excellently put
together, recommended.

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Sunday 6th September 2015 : Finally and perhaps inevitably after many Months of coming close the Young Guns completed this week’s session winning ALL of their games. To be honest we have seen some of the boys play individually better, but collectively this evening they were ruthless and efficient. Rick Westwood snapping at the heels of the opposition and clinical in front of goal. Every strike shaking the very foundations of the leisure centre on its way into the net. Josh Mackie controlled things in the middle then would run onto many a return pass to blast the ball past the hapless goalkeepers. Anthony Graham played it cool and disciplined at the back . Sauntering forward when he could to tuck in a few classic goals. Last but not least of this History making quartet Rick Pott . Who helped himself to some splendid long range missiles. Then ran his heart out to end up slotting away his trade mark angled side footers from just outside the area.
As for their opposition this evening the Moaners were very off colour, perhaps missing Ronny Dooley. They battled it out with the Strollers for second place, most of the games frustrating and littered with errors, fouls and some dubious refereeing decisions. Graham Levine could hold his head high though, collecting a bag full of unstoppable long distance net busters. Keith Proudfoot hustled and bustled and proved invincible between the sticks. Chris Todd and Chris Anthony popped up with a goal or two. The rare spotted Neil McLennan played his part working hard as his teams midfield creator. Keith Mastin and John Goodwin continue to defy the ageing process both scoring in style. Chris Podmore was rightly frustrated with his team mates but still put in 100% rewarded with some nice finishes.
The History boys had a few scares on their way to legendary status. A last second 1-0 win against the Strollers and a
2-1 victory over the Moaners. The Young Guns cancelling out Paulo’s pin point equaliser. Then to see a James Kemp would be leveller come off the post with no time for a re start. To be honest that would be splitting hairs and taking some of the gloss off what was a fine team performance . I am sure all the Young Guns are grateful for the goalkeeping excellence of players loaned to their team who’s contribution was at times match winning.
Well done boys you can now spend eternity in the Hall of Fame as the brilliant, victorious, undefeated team that made Vets History. let’s see if you can do it again in your 50's and 60's. ( Not you Mr Pott….You don’t look a day over 58 !!! ). Congratulations from all the lads see you next week.

I must thank our guest reporter for yet another excellent article and congratulate the Young Guns on their astonishing achievement of winning all their games in one session, the first time in our 27 year history in which that has happened.  Again, well done lads.  -  Malc

  YOUNG GUNS 
Rick Pott
Anthony Graham
Rick Westwood
Josh Mackie



  MARYS MOANERS   
Keith Mastin
John Goodwin
Paul Garner
James Kemp
Chris Podmore




   OLD STROLLERS  
Keith Proudfoot
Chris Anthony
Chris Todd
Neil McLennon
Graham Levine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

Sunday 13th September 2015 : Maybe it was the lure of the last ODI on the telly, but only 10 vets made it to the Leisure Centre tonight, and indeed there were only 9 when play started, as Dave Brown arrived a little late. Having started with a 5 versus 4 formation, with appropriate allowances being made for the aged and infirm, Dave’s arrival to join the youngish guns tipped the balance and they waltzed through the first game with considerable dominance winning it 10-6. This led to some team re-juggling to even the balance, with Dave and John Bates swapping places, and this had the desired effect, aided it must be said by Rick Westwood and James ‘Running Boy’ Kemp both sustaining groin injuries in the course of play which thankfully slowed them down. The next two matches were won by the older guns, but the youngsters came back in the final truncated match to secure a deserved 6-4 victory, reflecting the old blokes’ adage that most injuries and ailments can be run off over time.
The recent poor turnouts are having a grim effect on our finances, however, as the Sports Hall has to be booked six months in advance at the end of which we have to pay the £63 per session however many have turned up over the period. At the end of the month we will be paying out £819 and have £758 in the coffers. We need some good turnouts in the last two weeks of the month otherwise we’ll have to sell some of our best players. Whether Malc will want to go, of course, is another matter, and discussions will have to be had with his agent, the delightful Janice.

Youngish Guns
Rick Westwood
Dan Bailey
John Bates
Rick Potts
James Kemp

                
Old Gits

Zsu Zsu Mastin
Ronnie
  Dooley
Johnboy Goodwin
Dave Brown
Graham Levine

 

Sunday 20th September 2015 : Strictly started like the Argentine Tango stamping authority and Latin flare all over the Bakers, who were caught still tying their apron strings. Plenty of Pasodoble between Rick Westwood and Josh Mackie waltzing the glitter ball into the back of the net for an impressive start. Dancing as a couple Chris Todd and Nigel Caldwell pirouetted and high kicked their way to some classic goals. The bakers eventually got the bun out of the oven John Goodwin applying the whisk allowing Chris Podmore to put the icing on the cake . Ronny Dooley harassed the Come Dancing couples with many a scotch pie but it wasn’t enough to stop an emphatic 10-5 win for Strictly.

The second game was a much closer affair . James Kemp and Graham Levine introducing their foot tapping quick step to great effect . Goal after goal for the sequined pair. Matched with great enthusiasm by Keith Mastin and Dave Brown weighing in with their own pend of ingredients making sure that Strictly wouldn’t have their cake and eat it. The game was locked like an ice cream Sunday at 9-9 , requiring one of the players to add the chocolate flake. James Kemp once again finished off this country dance planted it past Zsu Zsu, leaving the Bakers burnt out and overdone on the wrong end of the 10-9 score line.

Game number three ended in tragic circumstances for James Kemp who turned an ankle River Dancing unsuccessfully to stop Star Baker Keith Mastin bread rolling the ball into the net. The opposition chorus line agreed to play on with five. Without James, Strictly still gave a good account of themselves Chris Todd’s American smooth the pick of their finishes. Closey rivalled by Graham Levine’s German Goose stepping thunderbolts. The Bakers finally made Mary Berry proud, turning up their slow cooker. Dave Brown and Chris Podmore found a winning recipe, adding eggs flour and water, passing this on to Ronny Dooley to stir in the fruit and fire his half-baked rock cake into the top corner cupboard for a 10-8 win.

Still time on the egg timer for a quick picnic. With the Bakers leading 5-3 one of the chefs shouted “Golden Goal “ . Paulo’s over cooked attempt at a soufflé was easily swallowed up by goal keeper Nigel Caldwell. Then from the resulting restart Chris Todd threaded the ball between the fridge and Sink for Graham Levine to pirouette unopposed smashing in the winner. Strictly are this week’s lords of the Dance , with the Baker Boys finding the Kitchen too hot.

Many Thanks for a brilliant report from our guest writer. Couldn't be with you tonight as I've had a bit of a set back with the old ticker, hopefully nothing serious. Hoping to be back again sooner rather than later - Malc
 

  Strictly Come Dancing 
Rick Westwood
James  Kemp
Josh Mackie
Nigel Caldwell
Graham Levine
Chris Todd

  Great British Bake Off  Keith Mastin
Ronny Dooley
John Goodwin
Chris Podmore
Dave Brown
Paul Garner
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 27th September 2015 : It was good to get back into the swing tonight as I made yet another come back (one more than Frank Sinatra) albeit only in goals for the Young Guns. Still it gave me a good view of just how well they operate, a blend of slick passing with the odd toe bunger from Rick Pott. Managing to keep a clean sheet for the first three games was a combination of Young Guns protecting me by parking the bus and some desperate late hacks off the line by my size nines. The contest ended pretty much even Stevens although each squad had their moments. Graham Levine was well on form as he peppered the goals with some classic finishes including a superb hat trick in his third game. One flick he put past me was was Premier class, had to be to beat the "New Cat". The Old Gits were joined by Ade Hewitt, his first appearance since mid July, he was breathing out of his arse by the time we finished poor lad. Mary's Moaners had a mixed night with Ronnie the Rocket Dooley mis-firing on a couple of cylinders and Johnboy Goodwin not finding the net until the final game.
Spanking performances from Anthony Graham, Nigel Caldwell and Chris Podmore to round off a fine night's football played in good spirit without a single moan to the referee's which is a pleasant surprise - take a bow boys. 

Young Guns
Rick Westwood
Anthony Graham
Rick Potts
Josh Mackie
Malc Hough

                

Old Gits

Dave Brown
Graham Levine

John Bates
Ade Hewitt
Nigel Caldwell

Mary's Moaners
Zsu Zsu Mastin
Ronnie
  Dooley
Johnboy Goodwin
Chris Podmore
Paul Garner

 

 

 

Sunday 4th October 2015 : News was filtering through that Man U were 3 down at Arsenal as tonight's 5 a side session kicked off. Liverpool and Everton had earlier drawn 1-1 which left our Scouse supporters somewhat happy and in the mood for another Sunday night thrash. Mary's Moaners hit the deck running whooping the Young Guns in the first game followed by a thrashing of the Old Gits. Rocket Ronnie was definitely in the mood with Zsu Zsu also finding the net. However, the Young Guns got back into the groove as Anthony Graham and Rick Westwood ripped into action to first demolish the Moaners before completing the double over the Old Gits. The Old Gits were creeping back into it with some super strikes form Graham Levine but sadly were let down by some awful mistakes in defence. As the Young Guns started to dominate it was a matter of who would end up runners up and Mary's Moaners took a grip on proceedings although the Old Gits were starting to get closer. Zsu Zsu and Johnboy were constantly winning the ball in midfield but Paulo Garner, like his beloved Skoda, had gone missing this weekend - and the Old Gits stepped in to notch their only success of the night thanks to my super driven winner through the legs of Podders in nets. Mary's did manage another win against the Young Guns later on but had to settle for runners up with the Old Gits finishing fourth. Ade Hewitt was suffering with a dodgy knee injury and Rick Pott made his usual coming together with the floor on numerous occasions but overall another fine night's footy was enjoyed by all. 

Young Guns
Rick Westwood
Anthony Graham
Rick Potts
Josh Mackie
                

Old Gits

Dave Brown
Graham Levine

Chris Todd
Ade Hewitt
Malc Hough

Mary's Moaners
Zsu Zsu Mastin
Ronnie
  Dooley
John Goodwin
Chris Podmore
Paul Garner

Sunday 11th October 2015 : The Autumn leaves are falling and you can feel a bit of a chill in the air. Not inside the leisure centre though where the pitch temperature is always hot. (The players are so old they have to keep the heating on !!)  Three teams fought it out this evening. The Decorated Ricky Evans returning to the Moaners , Neil Mc Lennon and Chris Anthony boosting the strollers. Dan Bailey bringing his own style of Bristol Cream to the Young Guns. Team of the Night were the “On Fire Marys Moaners“, winning all but one of their games. The only blemish on this perfect string of results was a freakish 1.0 defeat against the strollers, Ade Hewett cleverly letting Chris Todd’s half hit shot go through his legs. The ball then somehow ended up in the corner of the net past the unsighted Moaners keeper.
Scotch Bonnet, Ronny Dooley and Hot Shot Chris Podmore were once again on target. Rick Evans also enjoyed dispatching a few of his trade mark screamers into the net. Keith Mastin and Paulo also chipped in with a goal or two as the Moaners made short work of the opposition with some emphatic wins along the way.
The battle for second place between the Young Guns and the Strollers was fairly even both teams beating the other. For the Strollers Chris Anthony can hold his head high with two superb Agueroesque  finishes, as can Ade Hewitt, flicking in a fantastically classy goal against the Moaners. A Frustrating evening for The Enforcer Chris Todd and Lesser Spotted Neil Mc Lennon who both had a night of near misses.
Tonight’s Young Guns were off colour, though Silver Fox Graham Levine did bag his customary six or Seven. Hard working John “The Dentist“ Bates scored a nice brace late on in their 2-3 defeat against the Moaners . X -Factor Boy Band Rick Westwood, Anthony Graham and Dan Bailey all got on the score sheet but for the most part were singing out of tune in this week’s session.
Another good humoured entertaining nights football the first I can remember where there were no drawn matches, every game was either won or lost. Thermals and Thermos next week boys, Winter is on its way and Matron won’t be happy if any of us catch a Cold.

Very grateful for the contributions of our guest columnist.

Young Guns
Rick Westwood
Anthony Graham
Dan Bailey
Graham Levine
John Bates              


Strollers
Neil McLennon
Chris Anthony
Chris Todd
Ade Hewitt

Mary's Moaners
Zsu Zsu Mastin
Ronnie
  Dooley
Rick Evans
Chris Podmore
Paul Garner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 18th October 2015 :A full strength turnout of Vets tonight made for a Premier style session at the Leisure Centre. Top team once again  were the Young Guns who came out with all guns firing. Rick "Berahino" Westwood fired past hapless keeper Malc "Yashin" Hough seriously stinging his fingers on the way. Other goals followed by Anthony "Coutinho" Graham, Josh "Naismith" Mackie, Dan "Depay" Bailey and John "Otamendi" Bates - and with a convincing 6-1 win under their belts they set about Mary's Moaners winning in a canter. Mary's had Zsu Zsu Mastin (68 years young today) in good form along with all action Chris "Angell" Podmore and Paulo "Kuqi" Garner busy in mid field. The Young Guns had to be stopped as on 45 minutes they were still taking the opposition apart with ease, stand up and be counted the Strollers. Staunch defending by Chris "Sagna" Anthony and Neil "Schweinsteiger" McLennon held up the swarm of Young Guns attacks whilst Graham "Fernandinho" Levine, Rick "Skrtel" Evans and Ade "Ingsie" Hewitt prodded away at their defence. With the help of Malc making numerous body shaking saves the bus was not moved off the double yellow lines in front of the Strollers net making sure of an unexpected 0-0 result - happy days. Meanwhile Chris "Davies" Todd, Ronnie "Jocko" Dooley and Johnboy "Assassin" Goodwin toiled away to further dent the Young Guns pride with another well fought draw but in fairness, that was the sum of the Young Gins failings in what was yet another great night's  5 a side when the only winner was football.
Next week sees the Manchester & Stretford Derby - oh please let City reserves come out on top......

 

Mary's Moaners
Zsu Zsu Mastin
Ronnie
  Dooley
Chris Todd
Chris Podmore
Paul Garner
John Goodwin

Strollers

Neil McLennon
Chris Anthony
Rick Evans
Ade Hewitt
Graham Levine
Malc Hough

Young Guns

Rick Westwood
Anthony Graham
Dan Bailey
Josh Mackie
John Bates

 

 

 

 

Sunday 25th October 2015 : Watched the Derby game this afternoon and saw City Reserves hold Utd to a
0-0 draw thus staying top of the Premier League - Job done. So
onto the Leisure Centre to test the old skills in another  90 minutes of end to end lung busting action. First game my team got gubbed   by Mary's Moaners who transferred Paulo Garner to our ranks and replaced him with Dave Brown. Next up were the Young Guns who raced into a 2-0 lead but Ronnie the Rocket inspired the Moaners to a comeback in a thrilling 3-3 draw. So the contest was really a stalemate from the off just like the Stretford Arena, no one would complete the session with all victory's. This threw up some quality games with the Strollers forcing a draw with the rampant Mary's with Graham Levine in fine scoring form. For the Moaners Zsu Zsu Mastin was defying his years with some great goals well supported by Chris Podmore who whipped in one particular gem past the Young Guns from wide on the right hand side. John Bates was also on the goal trail hitting the net like a man on a mission. Paulo free from his defensive constraints with the Moaners began to relish his new found freedom in a great attacking display, maybe, just maybe he will make his move permanent, watch this space. Meanwhile the Young Guns  were looking a little shell shocked as first the Strollers, then the Moaners weighed in with victories followed by a second defeat to the fast improving Strollers. Josh Macke and Anthony Graham both hit notable goals whilst Rich Westwood picked up on various defensive errors. Chris Anthony had to leave the action in the last game due to a nagging knee injury, pity really as he notched a few stonkers of his own.

Mary's Moaners
 Zsu Zsu Mastin
 Ronnie
  Dooley
 Chris Podmore
 Dave Brown
 John Goodwin

 Strollers

Chris Todd
 
Chris Anthony
 
Paul Garner
 
Graham Levine
 Malc Hough

 Young Guns

 
Rick Westwood
 Anthony Graham
 Josh Mackie
 
John Bates

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 1st November 2015 : Another swash buckling session at the Leisure Centre tonight but not without incident. First Anthony Graham went over on his ankle as he tried to do a Ronaldo'esque step over routine leaving him a virtual passenger. Later in the proceedings Rick Westwood had a coming together with Rick Evans resulting in another ankle injury which stopped his gallop. So the Yong Guns suffered a Chelsea type of collapse in form. With all these injuries you have to ask the question, what kind of training regime are these lads being subject to?  I also struggled to keep up with the pace in my first game so stayed in nets for the rest of the session. Mary's Moaners took advantage of the Young Guns dip in form and the Strollers early lapses to somewhat dominate the action on the pitch. The Flying Jock, Ronnie Dooley, alongside Paulo Garner ran the midfield like a pair of conductors, orchestrating all the action and chipping in with the odd goal here and there. Chris Podmore, Johnboy and Zsu Zsu added their pennyworth as the whole team took on the goal scoring. For my team the Strollers, Graham Levine and Rick Evans were the main strikers with Chris Todd and Chris Anthony chipping in. As for the flagging Young Guns, Neil Mac and Josh worked their selves to a stand still but to be honest, José Mourinho would have been hard pushed to stop them hitting bottom tonight.
All in all a very enjoyable session and hopefully our battered soldiers will have recovered in time for next week when we start all over again and you can bet the Young Guns will be back firing on all cylinders so watch out.....

On a sombre note spare a thought for Nigel Caldwell who went through serious surgery last week when it took a twelve hour operation to remove a tumour from behind his nasal area. Hopefully everything went well and he will go on to make a speedy and complete recovery. Nigel is a top bloke and we all wish him well. I'll try and keep you all updated. 

Mary's Moaners
Zsu Zsu Mastin
Ronnie
  Dooley
Chris Podmore
Paul Garner
John Goodwin

 Strollers

Chris Todd
Chris Anthony
Rick Evans

Graham Levine
Malc Hough

 Young Guns

Rick Westwood
Anthony Graham
Josh Mackie
Neil McLennon
Dave Brown

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 8th November 2015 : Although bonfire night passed in New Mills there were still plenty of fireworks at the Leisure Centre this evening. Fourteen vets turned out to dish up another superb nights footy. Mary's Moaners once again topped the ratings with a fiery performance with a display of well organised passing football losing only one game. Chris Podmore and Ronnie Dooley did most of the running but the goals came from all the team with Paulo Garner chipping in with a couple of rockets. The Young Guns ran them a close second with newcomer Peter Greathead in particular showing well hitting the first goal of the night and followed that with a hat trick in the next game. Rick Westwood linked well with Anthony Graham well backed up by Dave Brown who managed a few sparklers of his own. As for my team the Strollers, we didn't manage a single win all night but we did manage a good few drawn games. Neil Mac worked tirelessly and lit the fuses for Graham Levine to fire home to add to efforts from Chris Todd and Chris Anthony. Chris Anthony commented in the after match dressing room that he was fast developing into Yaya , more like Lady Yaya I'd say! Johnboy Goodwin had a cracker of a night laying on goal scoring chances for his team mates and adding a few choice strikes of his own but he was out voted by every player on the pitch when he failed to recognise that he had encroached into the keepers area - just for the record "Yes you did Johnboy!"  Brilliant session tonight played in excellent spirit, rock up next Sunday for more of the same.
How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in New Mills does it take to light a bonfire?
Both of them.

Mary's Moaners
Zsu Zsu Mastin
Ronnie
  Dooley
Chris Podmore
Paul Garner
John Goodwin

  Strollers

Chris Todd
Chris Anthony
Neil McLennon
Graham Levine
 Malc Hough

  Young Guns

Rick Westwood
Anthony Graham
Peter Greathead 
Dave Brown

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 15th November 2015 : A night to remember for lots of amusing reasons. John Bates was in the thick of the Action, transferred to the Moaners for 30 seconds before Dave Brown appeared to bring us back to three teams. Then our Dynamic Dentist slotted in the first goal of the night. In a later match Master Bates unceremoniously double slam dunked Jonny Boy and Paulo in an over exuberant challenge for the ball. Peter The Great once again impressed, full of running with some clinical finishing along the way. Together with his team mates Neil Mc Lennon, Chris Todd and Chris Anthony he had a torrid time of it registering no draws and only one controversial win all night (obviously missing the playmaking influence of Malc -ED). For the Not so Young Anthony Graham was again on form though by his own admission his shooting was not as deadly as previous Sundays. Rick Evans was amongst the goals and involved in most of the evenings crunching tackles. The Dr Jeckel in Richard produced some good football, but when Mr Hyde took over late on we feared for our lives.
The silent assassin Dave Brown scored the two goals of the night both fiery angled net busting drives. (Shush don’t tell anyone).
The Moaners got a couple of 2-2 draws with the Not so Young, all their wins coming against the Stollers. Chris Podmore leading the attack thumping in the goals. Jonny Boy also had a good night the highlight being a couple past the Enforcer which counts as four in Johns book. Keith Mastin showed everybody how it should be done super side footing into the net. Ronny Dooley went for the “ Hot Shot Hamish” style of shooting with mixed results. Paulo’s first goal had more of a ball bag feel to it than an Onion Bag as it ricochet off the underside of Peter’s inner thigh on its way to into the net.
The penultimate game between the Not so Young and the strollers was draped in controversy. Inept goalkeeping contributing to a resounding 5-1 win for the Stollers. Chris Anthony bagging two, Chris Todd and Neil Mc Lennon helping themselves to one each sand wedged between a Dave Brown OG. In fairness Paulo is not the best keeper the vets have and the defending by the Not so Young was dreadful. I think the Strollers would have won regardless. For over an hour they sportingly competed on the wrong end of every result. If any team deserved their win it was the Stollers.
Bruce Grobbelaar would be proud. More of the same next week ………cant wait.

Mary's Moaners
Zsu Zsu Mastin
Ronnie
  Dooley
Chris Podmore
Paul Garner
John Goodwin

Strollers

Chris Todd
Chris Anthony
Neil McLennon
Peter Greathead 

Not So Young Guns

John Bates
Anthony Graham
Dave Brown
Ri
ck Evans

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

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