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The Vets Archives
Just in case you are the slightest bit interested, I have archived the previous Vets News Pages from January 2001. It's quite interesting to look back on a few of the events that have occurred during our past games, some of them amusing and some of them downright sad. Click the button at the top.

Check out these boys to see how easy it is to control a ball. 
He can Kick it


So Can this guy

Best 5 a side goal ever

VETS DEBUTS
 


7th Jan 2001 Gary Sharp
Billy Ney
   4th Feb Nigel Reardon

22nd April Dave Kidd

18th Nov 2003 Matt Pink
Steve Gerrard

 

5th May 2004 Ade Hewitt

 

 

New Mills Vets  5 a side football at the
Leisure Centre New Mills High Peak
17:30 - 19:00 every Sunday evening.
Come and join us, all you need is a pair of trainers and a dodgy kit and you're up and gasping for air.



Some of our YouTube's

Penalty or What?
Bryn Misses a Sitter
Only One Winner Here
Paulo Strikes Like Larsson

Proudy & Ron
 Michael Jackson
 Evans Above

  Will Ron ever score?

Vets Hall of Fame  The Vets Archives

Holy Sister training Mary's Moaners many moons ago.

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VETS PLAYER OF THE YEAR
2013
Nigel Caldwell

Keep up with past reports in the excellent Vets Archives
The Vets Archives

Check Out Paulo's Mid Week
Sessions with  Walton Wednesday

a superb site excellently put
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Sunday 30th March 2014 : In a memorable week when football genius David Moyes, Stretford United's chosen one, announced the world's biggest club should aspire to be like Manchester City. Music to my old ear 'oles after all these years following the glorious Blues. Chris Anthony & Rick Pott still had the smile on their faces as they walked into the sports hall tonight after seeing this weeks demolition derby at the theatre of broken dreams. They joined myself, Proudy and Park Runner James Kemp to form a formidable 5 a side team to play old foes, Mary's Moaners. James in particular had an awesome night using his fitness to great effect getting up and down the pitch with very little effort. In the first game the Shirts raced into a 7-1 lead with some seriously slick interplay and a tanning looked on the cards. However, Mary's Moaners are never to be underestimated and with Rick Westwood's' added pace they set about pulling themselves back into it. Johnboy was suddenly fired up like a volcano in a snow storm and his enthusiasm spread to the rest of his team mates causing a dramatic surge in form. You know you're in trouble when Zsu Zsu starts finding the net and at 7-7 it got serious. Paulo Garner put the Moaners in front only for Rick Pott to hit the net as opposed to the floor and it was 8-8. Things were getting quite tense and when Chris Podmore pressured the Shirts defence Rick Westwood nipped in to put the Moaners in front once more. Proudy was banging in shots from every angle but unfortunately they were hitting every angle of the building except for the one he was aiming at but, the pressure finally paid off when Pottie fired in to make it 9-9. So, it was Golden Goal time to decide it and the on Form James Kemp was the Johnny on the spot to grab the winner in a game that took 45 minutes, possibly the longest first to 10 we have ever played. The rest of the night went to the Shirts with a comfortable 10-2 in the second game before we reverted to 4 a side for the last ten minutes as Rick Pott limped out with a muscle pull and Chris Anthony left for a family engagement. Rick Pott did extremely well to complete 80 minutes after featuring in a 10k cross country at Ashbourne yesterday through muddy country side - well done Rick.
 

Mary's Moaners
Paulo Garner
Chris Podmore
John Goodwin
Keith Mastin
Rick Westwood

 Shirts
Keith Proudfoot

Chris Anthony
Malc Hough
Rick Pott
James Kemp
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 6th April 2014 : You don't win nothing with kids in your team a famous manager once uttered. Well with a good dose of players at the younger end of the spectrum the Young Legs took their senior opponents to the proverbial cleaners to prove that particular old Jocko wrong. James Kemp was on fire scoring goal after goal and ran like Forrest Gump on a mission. Although the Young Legs were a player light they always had the edge on the night. Right through their team you couldn't fault the effort and enthusiasm which the Dead Legs couldn't match. I feel my team, the Dead Legs, kept them on their toes but to be honest, we were OK until it came to hitting the old onion bag. Paulo kept sending in his long rangers and Russell was never frightened to have a go but overall with a combination of good goalkeeping and wayward shooting, we were never likely to get on top. Chris Podmore revelled in a team surrounded by players of his own age as opposed to the usual bunch of old fogies and hippies he's used to carrying on a Sunday night. The Young Legs finished the night 3-0 winners and James Kemp took the Player of the Week by a country mile (what's the difference between a country mile and a town mile I ask?)
Next week our Cockney pensioner returns from the Old Folks Republic of Madeira which must have come as a pleasant surprise in comparison to the Peat Bog they call Southern Island where he normally holidays. That means a return to Mary's Moaners for Podders and Paulo and hopefully the three team team format. There's also a little matter of the Premier League battle to be settled at Anfield - COME ON YOU BLUES............


YOUNG LEGS
Dan Bailey
Chris Podmore
James Kemp
Rick Pott
Anthony Graham

DEAD LEGS

Paulo Garner
Russell Hindley
Nigel Caldwell
Malc Hough
Ade Hewitt
Chris Todd

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

Sunday 13th April 2014 : Oh what a day for English football! Liverpool and Man City played out the game of the season this afternoon and if anybody was ever in doubt about the best two teams in the country then you only had to watch this footy fest. Maybe Liverpool are now in the driving seat but there's many a slip twixt cup and lip but I feel we saw the Premier League winners hat Anfield today. There were a couple of Liverpool fans at the 5 a side tonight and five sky blues although one was a Cov City fan, strangely Pool fanatic Rick Evans was a no show although alcohol probably played a part in that. The actual football turned out to be a one sided affair with my squad, The Slickers,  winning all the games. Even though we were a player light the first game was won in about 10 minutes mainly due to the fact that Zsu Zsu Mastin chose to pick a team with only Rick Pott as a recognised striker to compliment the three sexagenarians with Paulo and Russ more your defensive mid fielders so not exactly prolific when it comes to hitting the onion bag. I say this as a personal opinion although Paulo did dispatch one absolute gem tonight to remind me that my opinion is not always on the button. On the night Paulo was described as a conductor of a classical orchestra with out of tune instruments (not by me that one). Rick Pott battled bravely as ever and in fairness notched one or two fine strikes. On reflection you can only beat what is put in front of you and I have to thank Zsu Zsu for selecting James Kemp and Anthony Graham to form my teams engine room. Myself, Chris Anthony and Steve Gerrard took advantage of the inexhaustible energy these two young guns added to our team and, with a combination of  slick passing and goals from all five of us we proved to be the dogs do dahs. I personally left for home nursing a few bruises but, I can honestly say this is one old git who is really enjoying his footy again and as a new birthday approaches I feel confident of another year and another landmark, something that a few weeks ago I was beginning to strongly doubt.
Talking of landmarks, it'll be ten years ago next week that Proudy made his Vets debut!

Just as a matter of interest I'm trying top dig out some of our old Fanzines from those far off days of cut and paste and Letraset. Some of the names may be unfamiliar to the Young Guns bet they are well worth a look. This edition was number 14 and the picture above was just one page. You will need Adobe Reader to open it.  Get Your Kits Out Zine 14  no one was safe.
 

 Toe Knobbers
Keith Mastin
John Goodwin

Russell Hindley
Rick Pott
Nigel Caldwell
Paulo Garner

 Slickers
Anthony Graham

Chris Anthony
Steve Gerrard

Malc Hough
James Kemp

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 20th April 2014 : In a week where I saw my not so glorious Blues bomb out of the Premier League race it was good to get back to bare bones footy with the lads at the Leisure Centre. Our Cockney Hippie decided to shuffle the personnel this week with the Moaners down to four so added a box to box playmaker and James Kemp. I must admit James and myself were somewhat apprehensive of representing the Moaners as we are two of the mildest mannered guys ever to have donned a vets tabard.  As for my usual squad, the Slickers, they were given the two young guns, birthday boy Richard Westwood and Anthony Graham. Having been taken to the proverbial cleaners last week in a similar five verses six session, I was offered a substantial fee to guest for one week only. The Moaners took full advantage of my playmaking skills and with the assistance of my wingman James we carved the Slickers open at will. I can't remember Zsu Zsu scoring so many goals in one session and with Paulo firing in a couple of bowsers we took the first game. In the second game the Slickers turned up the ante with Richard and Anthony using their speed to test the Moaners to the full. Proudy banged in a stonker and Chris Todd took over the mid field. The Moaners strike force started to misfire and Chris Anthony found his shooting boots leaving the Moaners to find themselves losing the second game. Normal service was resumed on the restart as Chris Podmore and Johnboy started banging in the goals. After a close start Mary's picked off the tiring Slickers winning by four clear goals to take the session two games to one. With a bit of time left we decided to play a first to five game. Again it was a really well contested game as the whole evening had been and I capped it off scoring the winner for the Moaners after skinning Proudy, as Paulo said - it was unstoppable until it hit the net!! I must say it was quite interesting playing for the Moaners who were in good spirit throughout and didn't suffer from the lack of moaning. It was good to see Paulo conducting his Orchestra for once in perfect harmony. We all finished the evening with a slice of Richards very tasty Baggies Birthday Cake - Thanks Rich, you are now a quarter centurion, it's all down hill from here matey boy.
Can't believe it is 13 years this weekend since that dirty git Roy Keane ruined Alfie Haarland's career with "that" tackle at Maine Road!!

Mary's Moaners +2
Keith Mastin
John Goodwin

Chris Podmore
Paulo Garner
Malc Hough
James Kemp

 Slickers
Anthony Graham

Chris Anthony
Keith Proudfoot
Chris Todd
Richard Westwood

 

 

 

 

Sunday 27th April 2014 : Last week I was happy to write off my glorious Blues after a couple of disastrous results then Chelsea go to Liverpool with half a team and one eye on their second leg of the Champions League Semi Final, and win!! So it's all on again and all it takes to become Premier League Champions is a win at Everton and two home games against Villa and West Ham, what could be simpler? Try being a City fan for over 60 years and you know quite well what can happen, it's never over 'til the fat lady sings. At the Leisure Centre tonight we had just eight (not ten as posted last week) willing souls (the same number as the corresponding week last year) to put their bodies through a torturous ninety minutes of four a side footy. My Slickers won the first game with some thrilling end to end stuff but the rest of the session belonged to the Mary's Moaners. Two very evenly matched teams went at it hammer and tongue but the more direct style of the Moaners proved to be too much in the end for my  miss firing slickers. Rick Pott and his opposite number, Chris Podmore ran themselves silly both banging in the goals for fun. Zsu Zsu, Nigel and Paulo all managed to impress with some quality goal scoring which in fairness gave their team the better balance. Maybe it was his teams shock defeat earlier at Anfield or just my dip in form as the night went on but Anthony wasn't able to use his youth to drive the Slickers on to that extra yard. Anyway, a very enjoyable if somewhat exhausting session tonight and hopefully we'll see a full turnout next week and with a bit of luck a win for City at Goodison (there haven't been many of those over the years) and we'll be back in business. Earliest posting on a Sunday night for many moons, I want to watch Match of the Day 2 tonight with a glass or three of vino pleasureo ....     roll on next week.

Mary's Moaners -2
Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore
Paulo Garner
Nigel Caldwell

 Slickers
Anthony Graham

Rick Pott
Chris Todd
Malc Hough

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 4th May 2014 : After last weeks joy watching my glorious Blues taking control of their Premiership Championship hopes, yesterday brought things that little bit closer. Beat Aston Villa on Wednesday and that leaves a win at home to West Ham next Sunday and Hallelujah - Champions. Problem is after 62 years watching the ups and mainly downs any old Blue will tell you, nothing is that simple. So by the time I next rock up at the Leisure Centre for 5 a side I'll not only be 68 but I will have hopefully personally witnessed the real Sky Blues winning their third League Championship.  Oh happy days.
Not so happy tonight at the Leisure Centre when my team, the Slickers,  chose to have a night when they couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo!! Dominating the play with Arsenalesque triangular passing movements but, we hit a brick wall or Zsu Zsu's size 12's when faced with the goals I'm afraid. Chris Anthony in fairness was our top marksman but overall we were found wanting. Mary's Moaners took full advantage of our dip in form and won all three joust's with a mixture of hoof up the middle and in off anything that was in the way. It was also the week when they took moaning to a new level although Paulo and Anthony Graham kept a very low profile in that department. Still in spite of that it was good to get that one out of the way and lets hope it was just the storm before the calm.
So next Sunday we need a few of the missing regulars back to cover for myself and Chris Anthony who will be glory hunting and our Cockney Hippie leader who is of to Eire to do some bog snorkelling so, get your arses into gear and get down to the Leisure Centre.....                COME ON YOU BLUES.........
 

Mary's Moaners -2
Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore
Paulo Garner
Anthony Graham
John Goodwin


 Slickers
Keith Proudfoot
Chris Anthony
Chris Todd
Malc Hough
Nigel Caldwell

 

 

Sunday 11th May 2014 : As predicted due to events elsewhere , it was down to a handful of ever present vets to keep alive our Soccer Sunday . Seven soles started a game of 3 on 4 , with one eye on the door hoping for a late arrival. 10 minutes in, our prayers were answered as the familiar face of Keith Proudfoot entered the arena, taking his place on the Four Tops team. However despite a valiant effort from the Tops, an ageing Flabtastic Four took full advantage of their early lead to close the game out at 10-7. A slight adjustment to the usual 4 on 4 rules made for a lung busting but really enjoyable next two games. No red line limit and a stick keeper so shooting from anywhere was an option for the 3 outfield players.
On paper the Four Tops looked to have the stronger team , but the second rubber was just as close as first. This time the pace and energy of the Tops got the better of the Flabtastic Four who narrowly lost 10 – 8.
Every vet on show had their fair share of howling misses, exceptional goalkeeping and a pocketful of memorable net bulging goals. Rick Pott continued his love affair with the stadiums masonry, unchallenged, running at pace, stepping on the ball and cracking his head along the breeze block, adding to this evenings previous self-inflicted swan dive to the floor but, as always he recovered to tell the tale.
The deciding game was an absolute cracker. Where the players found their legs from is anybody’s guess. Flowing interplay, last ditch tackles, top quality finishing, combined with incredible effort and energy. Any middle-aged passing maiden would have smelt the testosterone, of this gladiatorial battle and swooned. The game was dead locked at 8-8 as 7.00pm was reached, and still they played on. Rick Pott launched a rocket of a toe bunger into the top corner for the winner. Unfortunately this was after the whistle. So in true Referee Clive Thomas 1978 world cup style, Mr Pott joins Brazils Zico and others in the last minute disallowed goal club.
Nobody had the strength for controversy or moaning about decisions tonight. The games were played in an exemplary Corinthian spirit, long may it continue. Radox Bath for those aching limbs lads, as next week we face the returning Manchester City faithful.

What a cracking guest report, sounded like a very enjoyable session. Have to say though that myself and my fellow Blues probably had the better deal with an astonishingly  emotional afternoon at the Etihad. Wonderful day for City fans who are now beginning to accept that we don't always have to be the fall guys. Thanks again to our guest writer and look forward to next Sunday for another round of  Vets against aging in Sport.....
 

 The Four Tops
Dan Bailey
Chris Podmore
Rick Pott

Keith Proudfoot

 Flabtastic Four

Nigel Caldwell
Paulo Garner
John Goodwin
Chris Todd

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 18th May 2014 : Rocked up with my fellow Blues tonight as happy as pigs in muck ready to give it a good crack at the 5 a side. It turned out to be a good old session without any problems, even the Moaners were quiet (well for them anyway). Although my team The Slickers were undoubtedly the most skilful side we once again succumbed to the more direct physical tactics of the opposition. As Chris Anthony correctly said, it's a very fine line between success and failure at this level. Steve Gerrard unlike his more famous namesake had a fine session scoring some tasty goals and leading from the front. Proudy and Chris Todd worked like Trojans with Proudy banging in a couple of blinders with his new pumps. The Moaners looked to be on a winner early doors but Paulo and Nigel couldn't plug all the holes that started to appear in their overworked defence in the latter stages leaving the Inbetweeners to take the team of the night. Having said that Chris Podmore had a Purple patch when he was scoring for fun and Zsu Zsu managed to squeeze a few in too. The Inbetweeners had runners to spare including James Kemp who ran the Manchester 10k this morning and still had running to spare. Together with Ade Hewitt the goals rained in from everywhere. In fairness both the Slickers and Mary's Moaners made the going tough for what on paper looked a seriously strong line-up only missing Pottie, the final piece of the puzzle. Must get back to picking player of the week next week, I'm getting lazy could have been almost anyone tonight though.
Next week we're meeting in the Hare and Hounds for a few pints everybody welcome past players and present. As an added bonus, Chris Todd is playing Live with his band The Carbs. Should be a decent night.


 The Slickers

Keith Proudfoot
Chris Anthony
Steve Gerrard

Chris Todd
Malc Hough

 Mary's Moaners
Nigel Caldwell
Chris Podmore
Paulo Garner
Keith Mastin

 The Inbetweeners
Anthony Graham
Richard Westwood
Ade Hewitt
James Kemp

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 25th May 2014 : This evening saw the welcome return of Dave Brown to bolster the ranks of this Sundays low turnout of players. As is customary in these cases those on show make the best of it. Three entertaining games of football were squeezed into the ninety minutes. The Whiz Kids using their fitness and pace to good effect taking the first game
10 -8. In the return fixture the Old Strollers put together a better game plan. Passing and moving rather than solo saunter up field. This paid off and they won the second game by a similar margin. Even with the extra man the Old Strollers found it hard to cope at times with the fitness and tenacity of the Whiz Kids. James Kemp had only completed a 40k run before playing this week so was fresher than ever. Heart of a Lion, engine of a Ferrari he was in an athletic mood tucking away many quality finishes in all three games. Richard Westwood was also frustratingly quick, bagging a good quota of goals.

Entertainment as ever was provided by Rick Pott ( Wreck it Ralph). In amongst some really good goals, he managed to dislodge Dave browns ill-fated spectacles, puncture a ceiling tile with a blocked shot and inevitably hit the hard surface of the floor at least once. Twinkle toes Anthony Graham made up the last member of this quartet and at times seemed to glide across the pitch, scoring at will.

For the Old Strollers, Chris Podmore scored the majority of the goals. Never giving up and always at 100% effort. Chris Todd also had a fine night ,taking home a couple of cracking goals he can relive later in his dreams. Keith Mastin was steady and scored a few classic side footers. Paulo was out of sorts and had a better evening as goalkeeper rather than goal maker.

Player of the week Dave Brown was up and down like a brides nighty and scored some absolute beauties.

The final game was locked at 9 -9 and most players seemed content with a draw. Rick Pott had other ideas however. As the seconds ticked away he set off on an unstoppable mazy run , ending in a net busting strike that will keep the cottage industry of net repairers in business for weeks. Making the whiz Kids this week’s worthy winners.  

As usual a superb report from our faithful reporter. I am unwell at present with a leg infection which means I am full of antibiotics leaving me feeling pretty grim. Hopefully back next week, it must have been all the jumping up and down celebrating City's recent successes or maybe I'm just getting knackered.

 
 Old Strollers

Chris Podmore
Paulo Garner
Keith Mastin
Chris Todd
Dave Brown

 The Whiz Kids

Anthony Graham
Richard Westwood
James Kemp

Rick Pott
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 1st June 2014 : Back in the old routine tonight after missing last weeks rumble. After a couple of false starts as the stragglers joined the action, we had a superb 90 minutes. Mainly due to being devoid of a "runner" my team the Old Slickers, decided to stick to our reasonably quick passing and moving game albeit with little success early doors. As the night rolled on  Ade and Chris Todd started hitting the net with some absolute spankers to compliment the industrious graft of myself, Chris Anthony and Nigel Caldwell. Whilst on the subject of Nigel, his defensive work was tre, no fourmendous tonight, fully justifying his player of the year title. The Inbetweeners probably marginally shaded the top team honour this evening although they certainly faded near the end. Richard Westwood terrorised the defences of his opponents with some fine ball skills and darting runs. Anthony Graham also showed well after his first five sighters threatened to dislodge the end wall. Anthony thankfully slows down towards the end of the session as his Bensons and Hedges take their toll. Malc Stubbs made a welcome return and had a super session, no doubt some serious pre match training has been going on. Rick Pott continued his love affair with the sports hall floor, on one occasion coming to grief on his elbow which looked really painful, maybe he should have thought twice about sprinting past Johnboy at great speed. Finally Mary's Moaners who also had a very decent 90 minutes especially as they were without their midfield dynamo, Chris Podmore, who is holidaying in Cumbria with his lady. James Kemp as usual had warmed up earlier in the day with a double marathon and a 100 mile bike ride on flat tyres, this had no effect what so ever on a non stop hour and a half of 5 a side - top player!! Paulo as ever marshalled the Moaners defence with the grace of an aging Beckenbauer whilst Johnboy and Zou Zou both managed to chip in with a few well taken toe knobbers to boot. High spot of the evening has to be the fact that nobody berated the referees  for a change - good on yer fella's. As a coincidence we have a quite highly qualified referee coming to join us as a player next week, I'm sure he will be severely tested!

 The Old Slickers
Nigel Caldwell
Chris Anthony
Ade Hewitt
Chris Todd
Malc Hough

 Mary's Moaners
James Kemp
John Goodwin

Paulo Garner
Keith Mastin

 The Inbetweeners
Anthony Graham
Richard Westwood
Malc Stubbs
Rick Pott

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 8th June 2014 : I often think back as to what is best about our 5 a side sessions over the near twenty six years we have been rocking up. For me in those early years it was getting the better of the "cat", Tony Gavin in Mary's Moaners goal. The boy was getting fatter than a butchers dog and had no problem making himself bigger and very difficult to beat. Nowadays it's getting one over the Young Guns who have more tricks than a Tai call girl and are nearly as fit!! Tonight under the name of The Inbetweeners they set off like a rat up up a drainpipe. After a furious 2-2 draw with Mary's Moaners they turned on the afterburners with a few demolition jobs over my team The Old Slickers and MM's. In my first game where I played in nets, Rick Westwood banged three past me that fair ripped in. Anthony Graham and the returning Josh Mackie were running riot, how were they going to be stopped? The first clue came when Johnboy gave Richard an early warning tickle which sadly didn't have the desired effect. It was only a matter of time before we would see the Baggies fan put to the sword, the assassin waited his moment and in the flash of a size nine trainer the job was done. Rick Pott the scorer of a late hat-trick, stood in admiration at Richards introduction to the Leisure Centre floor and in admirable respect didn't attempt to better it. Mary's Moaners saw the return of their young engine room, Chris Podmore who was at the heart of all their action and fitted in well with Ade Hewitt. Paulo Garner and Nigel Caldwell formed a formidable defence but the pressure of being Player of the Year looked to be a heavy burden on Nige as one of three sexagenarians in the Moaners line up. Whilst on the subject of sexagenarians, We missed the opportunity to field our first ever over sixties six a side team this evening as we were joined by Terry who made a useful debut in The Inbetweeners squad. I'm sure he'll feel the benefit of his run out tomorrow morning as this was his first game of 5 a side for nearly 25 years although Terry is a highly qualified referee. The Old Slickers narrowly missed top team of the week with a very productive 90 minutes. Proudy, Chris Anthony and Chris Todd all had excellent games but after his cruise round the Norwegian Fiords, Steve Gerrard was our star goal scorer. Dave Brown worked hard defending as he always does and and I did my best to lend support but it certainly wasn't my best nights work. My goals have dried up to such an effect that Zsu Zsu Mastin is now out scoring me, maybe a trip to the Norwegian Fiords is in order. No James this week, he was last spotted running round Hadfield dressed in a Bunny suit - it's a funny old game Saint.....

 The Old Slickers
Keith Proudfoot

Chris Anthony
Steve Gerrard

Chris Todd
Malc Hough
Dave Brown

 Mary's Moaners
Chris Podmore
John Goodwin

Paulo Garner
Keith Mastin
Nigel Caldwell
Ade Hewitt

 The Inbetweeners
Anthony Graham
Richard Westwood
Josh Mackie
Rick Pott
Terry Jackson

 


Sunday 15th June 2014 :
Was anybody surprised that England went down to the Ities last night in the Brazilian rain forest. When you watch a player like Andrea Pirlo walk around unmarked for 90 minutes picking simple passes whilst our commentators wax lyrical I for one was not a little bit surprised. At the Leisure Centre tonight we had 11 oldies who spent much of the night walking around although generally not looking like Pirlo but, still giving it a good shot. My team the Braziliants had a man advantage over Mary's Moaners but found ourselves playing catch up against an unusually slick Mary's outfit. Adding James Kemp to any team these days is a plus in many ways but when he starts banging them in like his first couple tonight, you're on a winner. With a distinct lack of Moaning from the Popes boys you had to admire the way they set about their business in great style. Chris Podmore chased down everything in sight punishing every mistake whilst future father in law Zsu Zsu Mastin and Paulo Garner directed things from the back. Paulo drilled one in from his own half, something he specialised in not too long ago but it was good to see one flying in again. In a closely fought first to ten  game, the Moaners pinched a deserved win 10-8. With the extra man the Braziliants weren't going to let the Moaners have it all their own way and so set off with more purpose. After going two down Ade Hewitt started firing on all cylinders and Dave Brown looked like he'd been given a half time dose of speed. Chris Todd was ripping through the Moaners defence like a knife through a bag of Smarties. Terry Jackson now finding his feet with the vets defended like a Trojan and organised what had previously been a defence with more leaks than the Iraqi navy. Rick Pott weighed in with some well taken goals and then Johnboy "the assassin" Goodwin brought me down with a tackle from behind - his response when advised you cannot tackle from behind, "well, it's such a long way round you Malc!"  all in good humour. So after a good tussle the Brazilians brought the games level with a 10-6 win and another blinder of a session, take a bow boys.
Finally, this Thursday - England v Uruguay - can they do it, of course they can, COME ON ENGLAND..  (They Didn't)
..... 

 Mary's Moaners
Chris Podmore
John Goodwin

Paulo Garner
Keith Mastin
James Kemp

 Braziliants
Ade Hewitt

Rick Pott
Terry
Jackson
Chris Todd
Malc Hough
Dave Brown

  

 

Sunday 22nd June 2014 : Not the best of weeks for footy fans of our National team who were unceremoniously booted out of the World Cup Final by a very ordinary Uruguay team, albeit with the help of the outrageously talented Luis Suárez. It doesn't take a genius to come to the conclusion that not only are we as a nation, a bunch of also ran's but, as you watch the emerging lesser teams playing faster, more skilful and far more intelligent football we are indeed slipping down the order. I personally think we are at the same level as Scotland, once mighty forces now, merely making up the numbers.
Down at the Leisure Centre tonight 10 reluctant 5 a siders made themselves available for the weekly joust and surprisingly enjoyed a right good 90 minutes of end to end footy. With only two Mary's Moaners our Cockney Hippie leader took a leaf out of Roy Hodgson's coaching manual and introduced youth and a Scouse striker into his line up. Speedsters James Kemp and Rich Westwood together with the non stop Chris Podmore were the perfect foils for Ade Hewitt and together they delivered a stream of goals. Even the Old Cockney himself wellied in a few just to prove his management skills were superior to the England Supremo. Goal of the night was a stonker Kempo curled in after a mazy dribble past everyone twice - one to remember. I must say after a dodgy start my team "The Rustics" really gave it a good go. Josh Mackie dragged us back into the game with a storming performance and with a bit of luck could have won the first game which ended 10-8 to Mary's after the Rustics went  four nil down. Chris Anthony was banging in them in from his right hand zone and with Rick Pott and Chris Todd finding the net it turned out to be a close encounter although in all fairness Mary's shaded it. Things could have been different if my team had improved their scoring ratio of around one goal in ten shots. No week would be complete without a Rick Pott moment and tonight's was a first! Flying down the left side like an out of control downhill Chedder Cheese chaser he finally lost his fight against equilibrium at the point where the exit doors were and tumbled through them into the reception area. There was an eyrie silence in the Sports Hall until after what  seemed an age, a red faced Rick emerged back through the doors unscathed in all but pride. His second customary introduction to the floor later on was nothing in comparison so I won't mention it. Next week we should have a full house with no further interest in the World Cup

 Mary's Misfits
Chris Podmore
Ade Hewitt
Keith Mastin
James Kemp
Rich Westwood

 Rustics
Chris Anthony
Rick Pott
Josh Mackie

Chris Todd
Malc Hough
 

 

Sunday 29th June 2014 : May be late posting the match report tonight, Janice and myself are going out for a Curry after footy with my brother and sister in law. Thought it would be good to spend a little time thinking of Robbie Westwood who we tragically lost four years ago yesterday (28th June 2010). Those of us who knew Robbie will never forget the little fella, who would have joined the over 60's club this year. It is so very special that young Richard still chooses to turn out at the Leisure Centre, his dad I'm certain would be the first to say he taught him everything about the game and, those values shine through. Miss you Robbie - Malc

Just got back from the Memories of India in Whaley Bridge, good food and a few glasses of red. As for the football at the Leisure Centre tonight I'll just recall the highlights of a very good session. Terry Jackson popped in with his good wife to offer his apologies for non participation due to a chest infection and Anthony Graham just offered his apologies for having a heavy hangover from a wedding celebration on Saturday, he just about participated!!  
My team The Old Slickers totally dominated the night, Malc Stubbs hit top form and tested the net on many occasions but as well as Ade Hewitt knocking in his usual bag full, myself and Proudy weighed in with our share. The Young Guns & Nigel had their moments and had to thank Josh Mackie for his non stop work. Rick Pott gave his usual 100% and netted some fine goals as well as loosening the pointing on the walls surrounding the onion bag. Mary's Moaners again had the outstanding goal of the night when Paulo Garner hit one from his own half that fair ripped into the net. James continues to astound everyone with his fitness although one guy who will remain nameless did say tonight that he's more your marathon plodder than an explosive B of the Bang Linford Christie, mmmm! 
Finally, Ade Hewitt is playing in the Ann Williams Memorial Golf Day this week for a very good cause. Read about it and donate if like me you find it a very good cause.
http://www.youcaring.com/memorial-fundraiser/-anne-williams-memorial-golf-day-2014/129707

 The Old Slickers
Keith Proudfoot

Malc Stubbs

Malc Hough
Ade Hewitt

 Mary's Moaners
Chris Podmore
John Goodwin

Paulo Garner
Keith Mastin
James Kemp
 

Young Guns & Nigel
Anthony Graham
Nigel Caldwell
Josh Mackie
Rick Pott
 

 

Sunday 6th July 2014 : The World Cup Finals reach the Semi Finals this week as the games just get better and better. Watching that astonishing match between Belgium and the United States was truly awesome. The energy levels of the players on both sides left you breathless as the Americans  went for a late equaliser. I never thought of the Americans as super fit but they dredged up every ounce of stamina to almost upset Kompany's men with a lung busting last quarter. After the match Paulo Emailed me saying, "After just watching the USA v Belgium, do you think James Kemp is American?  Talking of James, he almost missed tonight's footie fest after following the Tour de France riders on his BMX, thankfully after negotiating The Snake Pass, Chunal and Stitch on his way home he arrived at the Leisure Centre in good time to play a full 90 minutes with the Youngish Guns. Top marks tonight go to Mary's Moaners who fielded three sexagenarians who together with Paulo Garner and Podders gave it a good go. Paulo has suddenly found his shooting boots banging in four or five absolute beauties tonight to add to the sack full he netted for his Walton Wednesday side earlier in the week. Terry Jackson at last found the back of the net with his first vets goal, a nifty penalty into the left hand corner which left Chris Anthony well beaten. The Youngish Guns blew hot and cold for most of the night with Anthony Graham looking more like the player we know, some Adrio'esque flicks and drag backs plus the usual netbusters. Overall my team The Old Slickers again dominated the session with Ade Hewitt scoring some blinding goals and unusually most of our wins were by a single goal. Proudy did his back early doors but "plodded" on regardless. Dave Brown and Chris Anthony probed and generally held their own and my scoring drought hopefully has ended.
So as the World Cup goes into the Final stages I predict a Holland v  Germany Final with the Germans taking the Crown on Sunday night. An 8:00pm KO should ensure another full turnout next Sunday in spite of Chris Anthony's holiday in Menorca.


 The Old Slickers

Keith Proudfoot

Chris Anthony
Malc Hough
Ade Hewitt
Dave Brown

 Mary's Moaners
Chris Podmore
John Goodwin

Paulo Garner
Keith Mastin
Terry Jackson


Youngish Guns
Anthony Graham

Nigel Caldwell

Rick Pott
James Kemp

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 13th July 2014 : Just watched the World Cup Final and have to admit I didn't enjoy it too much although I have to say the best team in it deservedly won. Enjoyed the 5 a side far more although with only nine of us it was bloody hard graft. The shirts won 2 games to one mainly due to the extra man. Terry Jackson had a mixed night netting three goals but ended up with a nasty ankle injury and a head wound which brought the session to a sudden end a few minutes early. We got him into the clinic for assessment but he refused an ambulance because he wanted to watch the WC final. Hope he has a speedy recovery and returns pretty quickly to the action. Highlight of the evening was Rick Potts traditional meeting with the floor surprisingly before the session started followed by a glut of goals by our speed merchant. Ade Hewitt kept the Yellow Bibs in contention all night with a Stirling performance.

Monday 14th July 2014 : Sad news that Dan Bailey's mother died on Saturday, our condolences go out to Dan and his family.

As a follow up to Terry's injury last night he filled me in with this email :

Hi Malc. Thanks for the concern. The New Mills Clinic was open, so I was triaged by a nurse. She said the crack I heard was probably just one of the bones grating against another. I was able to put weight on it, so not as bad as originally thought. She just told me to take it easy & dressed my head wound. Actually, by the time I got home, I realised I had also hit my right ribs on the floor & they are still a bit sore. The ankle is tight, but I can just about walk.
I should be all right in a couple of weeks hopefully, but will not be able to play for a bit. (Actually most of my mates said I never could play & that was why I took up reffing!).
Please thank the lads for their thoughts, I appreciate that. By the way, I only missed the first 15 minutes of the Final, so that made me feel a bit better.
Like most women, Ann has no sympathy for 'self inflicted wounds!'

Best wishes, Terry.

Further update : 15-07-2014 

Hi Malc. Found my ankle had swollen yesterday & rib pain worse. I went back to clinic-chauffeur driven-. Different nurse (A&E specialist) said grade 2 ankle sprain. Must initially ice but move about & flex foot. Unfortunately 6-8 weeks job. Also confirmed I have probably broken one of the bottom ribs. They do not x-ray now to avoid too much radiation in the body & in any event they do not treat as it should heal on its own. Another 6-8 weeks job.

Terry

 Yellow Bibs
Chris Podmore
John Goodwin

Ade Hewitt
Keith Mastin


 Shirts
Anthony Graham

Malc Hough
Rick Pott
Terry Jackson
Chris Todd

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 20th July 2014 : Watched City in a pre season friendly on Friday evening going through the motions in a disjointed 90 minute kick about. The result was neither here nor there although I must admit to being mildly pleased to see them win. Where is this leading to you may ask, well, it was a similar night tonight in a decent enough session but other than a sprightly Youngish Guns side both my own team and the Mary's Moaners were unconvincing. Podders as always was buzzing around like a good 'un but his team mates were on a night off. Even on a night when the refereeing was to put it mildly, slightly Brazilian no one got particularly worked up about it, Scouse Ron would have crucified them!  I also had a night off plodding round like an out of sorts porker for the Old Cloggers, thankfully Rick and Ade kept us afloat with most of our goals whilst poor old Nigel did the work of three defenders. Meanwhile the Youngish Guns kept plugging away only losing only one game (to my team) over the ninety minutes with Chris Todd on loan for this week only having a stormer earning himself player of the week to add to a rare hat trick on the night for the Guitar Man. Josh and Anthony were a handful making it look easy at times against too many off form players. Having said that, you can only beat what is put in front of you and they didn't miss the opportunity to be best team on the night. Malc Stubbs playing with a dodgy knee due to him thinking he could be a fell runner at his age - should know better. Few regular faces missing tonight but should be back with us next week, James should have completed his round the world in 80 days or less run and Chris Anthony should be well roasted by now in Minorca although Proudy will be pondering on why the hell he decided to try the thee Peaks challenge next Sunday instead of the more challenging vets 5 a side, good luck laddie.... see above for report on Terry Jackson.

 The Old Cloggers
Nigel Caldwell
Malc Hough
Ade Hewitt
Rick Pott

 Mary's Moaners
Chris Podmore
John Goodwin

Paulo Garner
Keith Mastin

Youngish Guns
Anthony Graham

Josh Mackie
Chris Todd
Malc Stubbs


 

 

 

 

 

 


Sunday 28th July 2014 :
Only eight vets tonight but a seriously good run out in spite of the low numbers. Mary's Moaners drafted in pacey Rick Pott to take over the scoring responsibilities and he came up to the mark with knobs on. Winning all three games the Moaners were certainly the top team tonight although The Old Cloggers ran them very close in the first two games. Paulo was the orchestrator with a classy 90 minutes after his trip to Portugal. Zsu Zsu Mastin added his not inconsiderable weight to probe and generally get his size 12's in the way of his opponents passes and shots. Podders as he always does, gets stuck in and adds his share of goals which to his credit he did plenty of tonight. So what went wrong with my Old Cloggers team? Well to be honest we fell down in front of goal too often for my money, including myself. Lots of huff and puff but generally missing out at the final reckoning. Young Rich whacked a good few in but missed a good few more. Chris Todd had his moments but again wasn't quite at the races but a little closer than Chris Anthony who had one leg still in Mallorca and the running power of Douglas Bader. Still I have to admit that it was a very good run out for the lads who turned out but hopefully there will be a few more down next week to bolster the numbers.
Terry Jackson rocked up before we started to show his face. He's suffering more from his ribs than the ankle but hopefully we'll be seeing him again sooner rather than later.

Proudy finished his Three Peaks Challenge today but from the pictures available on Face-ache it certainly looked a tough ask, picture above (right) taken late last night at the top of Snowdon.
Posting on Facebook : Last of the Three . . . It was a steady 'night climb' with a sunrise decent! We completed our Three Peaks Challenge in 23hrs 2mins . . . We are all so pleased & grateful with your generous donations. Thank you for your support....
— with Darren Pope, Keef Proudfoot, Rodney Boxes and Mat Winterbottom at Summit of Snowdon (Snowdonia National Park).

You can still leave contributions which go to Cancer Research, they made a big effort so we should at least make a small one. Click below to donate (no amount is too small) 

 https://www.justgiving.com/Nick-Mat-Daz-Dave-Keef/

 The Old Cloggers
Chris Todd
Malc Hough
Rick Westwood

Chris Anthony


 Mary's Moaners
Chris Podmore
Rick Pott

Paulo Garner
Keith Mastin


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday3rd August 2014 : Can't believe I failed to notice that we passed the 26 year mark of vets 5 a side footy nights at the start of July. Amazingly, still with three original members, Keith Mastin, John Goodwin and myself giving it large (in more ways than one) after all these years. I personally think that the three of us put in a decent contribution tonight and will continue to do so for a good few years yet. As for this evenings match up between Mary's Moaners and a combined Young Guns and Old Cloggers six a sides the Moaners were left rocking in the gutter as YG's & OC's swept them aside with an astonishing display of slick passing and quality finishing. Anthony, Josh and Rich were in great form and took full advantage of Chris Todd's, Chris Anthony's and my own experience to form what turned out to be an unbeatable force.
Chris Anthony in particular stepped up many notches tonight in comparison with last weeks effort to bang in more goals than I could count over the ninety minutes to earn him player of the week by a country mile. Josh also looked the business as he bossed the mid field area all night long. Mary's Moaners drafted in Ade Hewitt the Glossop bomber and James "Forrest Gump" Kemp to add to last weeks successful line up plus the returning John Goodwin who replaced Rick Pott. However, no one could emulate Rick's goal scoring feats of last week although Ade did his damndest without too much reward. Paulo Garner chipped in with a few really well taken strikes but tonight it wasn't to be the Moaners night. I have to say it was an absolute pleasure for myself and the two Chris's to play in the same side as the Young Guns but hopefully next week we will be doing our best to undo them when we get our full squad out.

Still not too late to contribute to  https://www.justgiving.com/Nick-Mat-Daz-Dave-Keef/  for their efforts in the Three Peaks challenge



 Mary's Moaners
Chris Podmore
John Goodwin

Paulo Garner
Keith Mastin
Ade Hewitt
James Kemp

Young Guns &
Old Cloggers  

Anthony Graham

Josh Mackie
Rich Westwood
Chris Todd
Malc Hough
Chris Anthony

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

Sunday 10th August 2014 : Many moons ago when I was at Green End Junior School I scored a goal against The Acacias Junior School in the South Manchester Junior Cup Final. I will never forget the feeling I got when I saw the net bulge that day and when I scored my goals tonight at the Leisure Centre that feeling was no different and so it will always be, hopefully for a good while yet anyway. Whilst we keep rolling up for our our Sunday night fix we will all have the chance to get the same pleasure whether it be a good pass or a bag full of goals or just the chance to have a good rumble with the lads. Tonight was a very good rumble indeed to put it mildly, three good sides giving it the full monty in some excellent games. The Youngish Guns might have been the top team but the football in general tonight was of a high order. Rick Pott managed to stay vertical for the nighty minutes and helped himself to a shed load of goals with some nifty ball control however, he couldn't control my pile driver of a shot which met his gonads with the force of a scud missile - oooh that hurt. Rich and Josh did what Young Guns do well, stroked the ball about and generally ran amok. Dave Browns face lit up when our leader asked if he would mind playing with the Young Guns and he rewarded them with a couple of excellent strikes. Ade Hewitt and Chris Anthony were both on the goal trail for the Old Cloggers with Chris Todd and myself pulling the strings in mid field and to be honest we didn't do too badly between us. Highlight for us was a game against the Moaners where all four of us got on the score sheet. Mary's Moaners were also on the ball and with three players over sixty they managed the only win against the Young Guns on the night after earlier stopping their gallop with a fine draw. Zsu Zsu Mastin and Chris Podmore were the Moaners engine room with our leader scoring a couple of superb goals in one game. Talking of over 60's players which we can boast six, I saw a news item this week aimed at getting over 50's back into football by playing "walk football" http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18380173  I know some may say we already play like this but come on, our lads would put these guys to shame, remember our over 60's side are unbeaten!!
Ten Years ago this week : Stretford United  were gubbed by Arsenal in the Community Shield and Johnboy had to go into hospital for an op on his foot. In his last session before the op John had been left sprawling on the floor after Robbie Westwood sent him crashing, Robbie had a wry smile on his face with the opposite happening the week before - happy days....

 The Old Cloggers
Chris Todd
Malc Hough
Ade Hewitt
Chris Anthony


 Mary's Moaners
Chris Podmore
John Goodwin

Paulo Garner
Nigel Caldwell

Keith Mastin

Youngish Guns
Richard Westwood

Josh Mackie
Rick Pott
Dave Brown

 

 

 

 

 

 

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