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The Vets Archives
Just in case you are the slightest bit interested, I have archived the previous Vets News Pages from January 2001. It's quite interesting to look back on a few of the events that have occurred during our past games, some of them amusing and some of them downright sad. Click the button at the top.

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Best 5 a side goal ever


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New Mills Vets  5 a side football at the
Leisure Centre New Mills High Peak
17:30 - 19:00 every Sunday evening.
Come and join us, all you need is a pair of trainers and a dodgy kit and you're up and gasping for air.



More of our YouTube's

Penalty or What?
Bryn Misses a Sitter
Only One Winner Here
Paulo Strikes Like Larsson

Proudy & Ron
 Michael Jackson
 Evans Above

 NEW   Will Ron ever score?
Vets Hall of Fame  The Vets Archives


 
Three things to note here, one - carefully consider all your options, two - never under estimate the power of Rick Potts shooting and finally, three - do you really want to be a goalie?

Vets Hall of Fame

Click above to view the Vets Hall of Fame. Email me your nomination to be included.

Also Coming soon

VETS PLAYER OF THE YEAR

will be presented at the next session Sunday 20th Jan 2013

Keep up with past reports in the excellent Vets ArchivesThe Vets Archives

Check Out Paulo's Mid Week
Sessions with  Walton Wednesday

an excellent site superbly put
together, recommended.

RETURN TO CURRENT VETS NEWS PAGE

Sunday 6th January 2013 : Thank god it's back, after 21 days we needed our Sunday night fix of 5 a side footy. There's nothing quite like getting stuck in after Christmas and battling away for the honour of that first goal of the New Year and this year it was no different. In the first game my team took on the Mary's Moaners and shots reigned in from everyone at the slightest sight of goal. Astonishingly shot after shot either went wide, over or were saved by inspirational keeping and at the final whistle it was 0-0. Mary's Moaners stayed on to face the might of a full Young Guns squad who would surely find the net but no, it was Chris Podmore (tonights' player of the week) who turned his marker and set off on a gallop before rattling in a real beauty.
This set the pattern for the night as we saw a succession of spectacular strikes one in particular from Chris again as he drilled in a goal from just outside his own goal area past a bemused Josh Mackie, as long a shot as I can remember at the Leisure Centre. Chris Todd then flicked the ball up a couple of times and volleyed in another from distance which brought gasps all around plus, Anthony Graham showed us he wasn't going to be left out by smacking in a couple of bazzers. Paulo Garner then got into the act with one of his trademark rockets, they were flying in from everywhere. John Goodwin, Rick Pott, Dan Bailey, Chris Anthony and Tony Williamson all had their share of goals in what can only be described as a goal fest. Add to these two beautifully struck own goals from myself and Tony Williamson which would easily have been candidates for goal of the week if only they had been at the other end. Great stuff for the first game of the New Year, here's to many more of them.....
 

Tonight's Teams

Chris Podmore
John Goodwin
Paul Garner
Keith Mastin

Josh Mackie
Rick Pott
Anthony Graham
Rich Westwood
Dan Bailey

Malc Hough
Chris Todd
Chris Anthony
Nigel Caldwell
Tony Williamson
 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 13th January 2013 : I left for the Leisure Centre tonight with City leading 2-0 at Arsenal, they hadn't scored at the Emirates in the Premier  for 7 years and failed to beat the Arsenal away for God knows how long but, the 5 a side beckoned and I left somewhat confident of the final outcome. My decision was rewarded when my team of true vets put the Young Guns to the sword in our first game with a superb 1-0 victory. Nigel Caldwell scored the winner with a delightful finish, then it was a case of park the bus. This result was a real feather in our caps because the Young Guns were really flying and playing with great determination. Dan Bailey,  probably the most improved player over the last year is now playing as good as anyone in the vets sessions and is deservedly tonight's player of the week with a great all round 90 minutes. It's a pleasure to play against these boys with their quick passing and fine individual skills and nobody benefits more than Rick Pott who helped himself to some fine goals tonight. Mary's Moaners also contributed well to the proceedings as they always do but overall it was the Young Guns who generally had the best of things this evening. Pick of the Moaners John Goodwin was as busy as ever and Zsu Zsu Mastin managed to find the net three times so it was all good and just to top it off - City held out for a very welcome 2-0 away day in London Town.
Finally our "Where are they now" slot returns to beg the question WTF has happened to Neil Mac, Stevie Gerrard, Malc Stubbs and Matt Pink to name just four?? Proudy is injured, Chris Garlick has just become a dad and Tony Williamson is on a ciggie break.....

Tonight's Teams

Chris Podmore
John Goodwin
Paul Garner
Keith Mastin
Rick Evans

Josh Mackie
Rick Pott
Anthony Graham
Dan Bailey

Malc Hough
Chris Todd
Nigel Caldwell
Dave Brown
 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 20th January 2013 : Only eleven of the boys managed to drag themselves down to the Leisure Centre tonight so we had to fall back on the rotation system once more. Most times this works pretty well but tonight I don't think we quite got it right. Perhaps the wrong mix or maybe a lack of continuity because of the regular squads being broken up or maybe we were just off the boil but, for me a quite poor session overall. Chris Anthony and Rick Pott were certainly finding the net as was Tony Williamson but I can't help thinking settled teams make for the best contests. My own game was instantly forgettable, giving the ball away far too often and passing incredibly poorly - must do better methinks. So with very little to get excited about tonight's report will be extremely short - see you all next week......
Monday 21st January 2013 : On reflection I was just thinking about last night's footy and I remembered a couple of things I should have included in my shorter than usual report. First of all, after watching Fergie on MOTD 2 last night moaning about about Chris Foy not giving Rooney a penalty for falling over, then bleating on about last years game against Chelsea which the unfortunate Mr Foy also refereed much to Fergie's displeasure. Pity he didn't remember when the same Chris Foy sent off Vince Kompany against the his supposed World's biggest club in last years FA Cup after just 12minutes for what most people regarded as a fair tackle, heavily influencing Stretford's victory. Pity Chris Foy wasn't at the Leisure Centre last night to witness Tony Williamson's tackle on Anthony Graham which sent the unfortunate Liverpool fan almost into orbit before landing in a heap on the deck, a tackle that Johnboy would have been proud of. Chris Podmore, our top ref, merely shuck his head and smiled, fergie would have blown a valve... the vets just get on with it!  Secondly, Rick Pott managed to score four goals in one game which included no less than three toe bungers, now that is a memorable feat in it's own right.  
 

Tonight's Players

Chris Podmore
Paul Garner
Keith Mastin
Josh Mackie
Rick Pott
Anthony Graham
Dan Bailey
Malc Hough
Chris Todd
Tony Williamson
Chris Anthony

 

 

 

Sunday 27th January 2013 : Why do I like Sunday nights I ask myself? Well tonight was typical of all that is best about the Vets 5 a side footy in a really tough 90 minute session. I was drafted into the Young Guns which bumped up their average age well into the officially recognised 35 year old bracket make no mistake. I have always cast a slightly envious eye over kamikaze Rick Pott being surrounded by skilful young players with shed loads of energy but never realised the amount of extra running involved. Because of their pace there's no hiding place when it comes to getting up and down the pitch and tonight  I had to up the ante somewhat which I have to admit I thoroughly enjoyed. Rick also puts in a good shift and will certainly add his two Penarth when it comes to getting back to defend. This doesn't detract from my usual team who like myself aren't blessed with young limbs but for tonight they took years off me and I don't mind admitting it. Malc Stubbs was removed from the missing persons list as he returned to take my place along with Dave Brown and a pretty decent 90 minutes to boot, looked like he'd never been away. Rick Evans rocked up knowing his Liverpool were 3-1 down to Oldham Athletic which included a super header from Reece Wabara on loan from City. At the end of the session he was looking forward to the highlights to see if his beloved Reds had pulled it back. Sadly in spite of a late strike from Joe Allen it wasn't to be. Back to the 5 a side we saw Zsu Zsu Mastin hitting three smart goals tonight but his best effort, a curling long range drive heading for the top corner saved at the last second by Anthony Graham to rob our Cockney leader of what would have been the goal of the night but earned him the Player of the Week. Chris Todd and Nigel Caldwell both had excellent games this evening and despite my loan deal with the Young Guns I look forward to returning to my own team très rapidement.
Next week it's a Sunday four o clock KO for City v Liverpool so myself and Chris Anthony may well be absent, there maybe a new player arriving though so please treat him gently......

There will be no 5 a side on Sunday 24th February & Sunday 3rd March.

Tonight's Teams

Chris Podmore
Rick Evans
Paul Garner
Keith Mastin

Josh Mackie
Rick Pott
Anthony Graham
Malc Hough

Chris Anthony
Chris Todd
Nigel Caldwell
Dave Brown
Malc Stubbs

 

 

 

 

Sunday 3rd February 2013 :  Three teams, twelve players and a startling performance by the Proudy/Chris Todd/ Dave Brown/Tony Williamson quartet who went through the evening winning every match – bar one. Even the young guns were outgunned, whilst Mary’s Moaners, without Paulo Garner and blooding a newcomer - James Kemp, commended by Malc Stubbs and acquired on a Bosman free – fought brave and hard but never quite peaked. We will leave it to others to judge whether the absence of Malc Hough and Chris Anthony – both enduring City’s narrow draw at the Etihad – were responsible for this transformation, but the results speak for themselves. Overall a sound performance by all players, with Chris Podmore running his socks off and new boy James Kemp making a sound debut, poking in a couple of goals into the bargain. But the Man of the Match had to be Dave Brown, who gave an excellent performance at the heart of Proudy’s defence and found the back of the net with two or three startling goals.
One final point. Our webmaster has made a small but typical mistake in advising when there will be no Sunday football at the Leisure Centre. Its Sunday 24th February and Sunday 3rd March. So two more weeks before we have an enforced break, during which they will upgrade the lighting and heating systems, and repair the walls and ceilings resulting from Rick Potts’ near misses.
Thanks to the guest writer for his short but late report which thanks to my powerful spell checker and thesaurus is now making a modicum of sense. 
 
Tonight's Teams

Dan Bailey
Josh Mackie
Anthony Graham Ricky Potts

Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore  Ricky Evans
James Kemp

Keith Proudfoot Chris Todd
Dave Brown
Tony Williamson

Sunday 10th February 2013 : It's always a gamble when I decide whether to miss the vets Sunday night caper to witness  what has now turned out to be the demise of my glorious Blues in their attempt to prise away the Premier league once more  from our near neighbours from Stretford. I have mixed feelings as to the answer but as Del Boy would say "Non, je ne regrette rien - j'ai vu cela auparavant!!"  So tonight Chris and I were back to join Proudy, Tony Williamson and Phil Schofield, sorry Butler in what turned out to be the nights top side. Tony Williamson in particular started like a house on fire scoring some audacious goals to earn him player of the week. Tony's goals were complimented by Phil Butlers return after over a year to add his tricky skills and a number of fine strikes. It was very apparent how much my team has missed Proudy over the last couple of months making his mark in a box to box session full of tackles and shots. My first glimpse of new boy James Kemp tonight playing with the young guns, did ok for me and looks like being a good addition to the ranks. Good to see he didn't panic when handed the referees whistle but he hasn't had the pleasure of reffing a full bloodied Mary's Moaners team yet. Welcome to the Vets James. The Young Guns saw Rick Westwood back in the action tonight and he put in a fine session with a good few goals linking well with Anthony Graham. Zsu Zsu Mastin had his work cut out to keep Mary's Moaners ticking but the old Cockney Hippie always comes up with the goods when the pressures on. The pressure came on when Rick Evans suffered a painful looking groin problem and had to leave the action mid session (sneaky way to get out of paying your subs). Here's hoping for a speedy recovery from the boys and his Mrs....
 

Tonight's Teams

Rich Westwood
James Kemp
Anthony Graham Ricky Potts

Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore  Ricky Evans
Paul Garner
Dave Brown

Malc Hough
Keith Proudfoot Chris Anthony
Phil Butler
Tony Williamson
 

 

Sunday 17th February 2013 : After watching City breeze into the 6th round of the FA Cup I was hoping for a bumper turnout at the 5 a side especially as we won't have another run out for three weeks. However, the lads decided differently with only ten of us bothering which was somewhat disappointing but as it turned out a really engaging 90 minutes. For some reason our cockney hippie leader decided to put the four oldest players in the same team which was fine for the first half of the session but  as the night wore on the old legs gave way to the younger element. With Tony Williamson as the fifth member of the Old Boys team we had a player who not only knew where the goals were but found them them with monotonous ease sometimes quite spectacularly. However as his young legs carried us through the first two games his smoking habit reduced him back to our level as he started to breath through his back side. For the other team Josh Mackie and Chris Podmore worked like a pair of Poles on bonus with Josh helping himself to a number of fine goals. Chris Todd plugged away with mixed success as did Dan Bailey who scored a couple of real raspers. James Kemp also weighed in with some excellent goals including a superb winner in the third game. The end of the evening saw the teams level at two games apiece but it was plainly obvious that the players were well spent as no one even suggested going for a Golden Goal decider  as has been the traditional method of finding a winner.
Johnboy Goodwin, back from his three weeks in Thailand looked refreshed and ready for action and to be honest had an excellent night making him the player of the week. With myself, Zsu Zsu and Paulo Garner acting as the dream midfield playmakers it was little wonder that Johnboy and Tony W landed the majority of our goals in a very satisfying 90 minutes which I have to admit left me knackered beyond words.
So the next session will be in three weeks time on the 10th of March by which time I hope my glorious Blues will have booked a FA Cup Semi Final place by despatching Barnsley at the Etihad - see you all then........

Also updated  check it out the Vets Hall of Fame

Tonight's Teams

James Kemp
Chris Podmore
Josh Mackie
Dan Bailey
Chris Todd

Keith Mastin
Malc Hough
Paul Garner
Tony Williamson
John Goodwin

 

 

 


 

 

 

Sunday10th March 2013 : Great to be back at the Leisure Centre after the refit. There are bright new lights and a new heating system which on a bitterly cold night wasn't switched on. I suspect the fees will be going up to cover these improvements whether they're switched on or not, nothing comes free these days. Anyway City duly qualified for the Semi Finals of the FA Cup and Stretford were 2 goals up on Chelsea as we kicked off our session tonight. Only ten players so a straight ninety minutes would hopefully give our old bones a good work out. Zsu Zsu Mastin was in great form along with Josh Mackie joining  Mary's Moaners to add a pair of young legs. Johnboy Goodwin made an immediate impact on Tony Williamson as the young postie was sent crashing to the floor with almost his first touch. Proudy buoyed on after his team, Blackburn Rovers, held Millwall to a 0-0 draw in the 6th round at the Den put himself about a bit but the surprise package in my team tonight was James Kemp who had a blinder. I think the lad has been training hard during the two week break, he was banging in the goals and tackling like Nigel Caldwell earning him the player of the week, well played James Kemp. Tony Williamson bagged the usual clutch of goals but clearly tired in the last thirty minutes probably as a result of too many Benson and Hedges. Paulo Garner didn't manage to fire one of his exoset's from distance for once but he and Chris Podmore put in a fair old shift as did Malc Stubbs in a fair old contest. My team finished top dogs winning two games to one and by the time we had finished Chelsea had drawn with Stretford at OT and were rewarded with a Semi Final against my beloved City if they beat the dark side in the replay.  Happy Days!!!

Tonight's Teams

John Goodwin
Chris Podmore
Josh Mackie
Keith Mastin
Paul Garner

Keith Proudfoot
Malc Hough
Malc Stubbs
Tony Williamson
James Kemp

 

Sunday17th March 2013 : After watching City hand the Premier League over to Stretford yesterday it was with a heavy heart that I rolled up for the Sunday night Vets 5 a side at the Leisure Centre. Dan the Red and Josh the Evertonian were gracious in not taking the paish which was greatly appreciated. Anyway as soon as the action got underway all that was forgotten and we set about trying to prove there's still life left in some extremely old bodies!  The Young Guns were the first winners against my team in a very tight game. So as usual it took Mary's Moaners to stop their gallop in the very next game with a 1-1 draw. Of course our resident Catholic team have themselves been suffering after Pope Benedict's recent resignation which was caused allegedly by tiredness. My own view is the Pope was inevitably going to resign anyway and, to be honest I don't blame him, I'd leave my job too if my boss never showed up. I read God tweeted this week saying, first a Kraut now an Argy, bollocks I'm resigning too. Anyway I digress, back on the footy front It took over 30 minutes for my team to score a goal, Nigel ripping in a blinder as we dug out a draw against TYG. Chris Anthony was our main hit man helping himself to some sweet strikes and even a slightly bitter one in a set to with Chris Podmore. Podders had a mixed night with some questionable refereeing decisions although I still think he is our best referee by a country mile. Rich Westwood was on form for the Young Guns who were definitely tonight's top team although Mary's ran them close. Tonight's player of the week Paulo Garner was on fire this evening, so much so that a drug test was suggested afterwards in the dressing room. I can't remember a night when the  Walton Wednesday star banged in as many goals in ninety minutes, they were raining in. Not only hitting the net, he then produced a string of blinding saves in nets especially in the last game when he stopped a rasper from me to prevent a hat trick! Incidentally, my team had an average age of 56.25 tonight and although we had to wait until the final game I think we gave it a pretty good go - that's what the vets are all about.....
 

Tonight's Teams

Rich Westwood
Dan Bailey
Ricky Potts
Josh Mackie

Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore 
James Kemp
Paul Garner
Dave Brown

Malc Hough
Chris Anthony
Chris Todd
Nigel Caldwell
 

 

Sunday24th March 2013 : No Premier League this weekend so we had a decent gathering of the lads. Three teams were the order of the night and all three made it as good a session as we have had for a good few weeks. Mary's Moaners held the young guns in the first game to a 1-1 draw and my team followed that with a 0-0 draw so it was all to play for after that. Maybe the young guns just about shaded it at the end but there wasn't a lot in it for any of the teams. Nigel Caldwell was the steadying influence for the YG's who were joined by the new dad Chris Garlick who slotted in nicely. Mary's Moaners huffed and puffed winning a few, drawing a few and losing quite a few. Along the way Paulo showed us he's gaining the old confidence and playing with a smile on his face again, or was he laughing! Johnboy showed his refereeing talents when Tony Williamson was launched up in the air from an enthusiastic tackle, denying the flying post man a free kich he said "if he runs at that speed, what does he expect!!" 
Proudy and Chris Todd had to graft like good 'uns as Chris Anthony and myself are not the quickest although Chris did fire in a good few of our goals tonight. My own contribution could be written on the back of one of Tony Williamson's fag packets, one goal after 80 minutes failed to convert about 30 shots, too many missed passes and a rather nasty foul on Rick Pott that went unpunished (sorry about that Rick). So a good work out but no outstanding performances to warrant Player of the Week so here's to next week and back to the Premier League. Finally the missing persons list - have you seen Stevie Gerrard, Neil McLennon or Matt Pink this year?     Birthday - Paulo Garner on Tuesday 48

Tonight's Teams

Ricky Potts
Josh Mackie
Nigel Caldwell
Tony Williamson
Chris Garlick

Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore 
James Kemp
Paul Garner
John Goodwin

Malc Hough
Chris Anthony
Chris Todd
Keith Proudfoot
 

 

 

 


Sunday31th March 2013 :
Easter Sunday and only one premier league game
on the box so I'm not too sure why we only had nine tonight but we made the best of it. Five against four with Mary's Moaners near full strength squad. With a distinct lack of Young guns three of my team were lucky to have the one remaining young gun, Dan Bailey, to add his neat touches to our more direct style. After Mary's had won the first to ten my team battled back to level things in a 10-9 thriller. However the extra man suddenly found the fast tiring team of four could be easily picked off by leaving a man forward and breaking quickly from defence a tactic that even my hard working team couldn't cope with. Johnboy was having a field day, I have rarely seen him so happy as the Moaners constantly found them selves with nothing but an unguarded net in front of them. Poor old James after a very promising start had a late scoring crisis when he couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo. Proudy battled away in vein to keep my team in the contest late doors but by that time we were truly leg weary. At the end of the day both teams made the best of what turned out to be a one sided contest which for me was better than no contest at all. So next week lets hope that we get back to full strength with three top teams giving it rice.... Talking of rice, I did enjoy a very tasty Chicken Nagraj washed down with a couple of glasses of Temporada Malbec Reserva at the cafe Bombay in Chinley after the footy, just the ticket for revitalising the aching frame.

Tonight's Teams

Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore 
James Kemp
Paul Garner
John Goodwin

Malc Hough
Chris Anthony
Dan Bailey
Keith Proudfoot
 

 

 

 


 NEW 
 
Will Ron ever score?   Well worth a watch this one....  our latest YouTube presentation
Sunday7th April 2013 :
Big night tomorrow as Manchester's finest take on the dark side at their aging stadium over in neighbouring Stretford. Here's hoping my glorious Blues give 'em another good old panning just like last season, that'll keep old red nose quiet for a bit.
Twelve of the lads rolled up at the Leisure Centre tonight and had a right old set too in a seriously competitive six a side challenge. Mary's Moaners started the smartest and built up a decent lead in the opening first to ten game. James Kemp fired in some quality goals backed up by Chris Podmore. Myself, and the two Chris's were drafted into the Young Guns squad and after we adjusted to the slower pace we gradually started to knit together. This was too late though to stem the Mary's Moaners more direct hit and hope approach that was paying dividends with a mixture of lucky deflections and a decent dose of goal hanging.  Zsu Zsu Mastin drew scorn from from the Not So Young Guns (NSYG) when he cleared one of their attacks by encroaching a yard out of the goal area and like a true Cockney - denied it!!! So with the Moaner's winning the first rubber the scene was set. Josh and Dan turned up the pace to match their older team mates and we picked the Moaners off like shelling peas. Chris Anthony was firing them in from everywhere and Rick Pott was just firing them errr....everywhere! So it was level in no time. To their credit Mary's hit back in the only way they knew - deflections, mis hits, luck, flukes sometimes you start to think God really is on their side. The final game called for the Golden Goal and with the NSYG's now in their "you shall not pass mode" Josh Mackie this weeks player of the week lashed the ball into the top corner to round off one of the best night's footy in many a blue moon, BLUOOOE  MOOOOON YOU SAW ME oh sorry, that's tomorrow night - COME ON YOU BLUES............
 

Tonight's Teams

Mary's Moaners
Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore 
James Kemp
Paul Garner
John Goodwin
Dave Brown

Not so Young Guns
Malc Hough
Chris Anthony
Dan Bailey
Josh Mackie
Rick Pott
Chris Todd

 

 

Sunday 21st April 2013 : No football last week because of the health and safety issue caused by a damaged light fitting hanging dangerously from the roof. So this week with the lads having an extended rest we were able to give it the full gun in what turned out to be a damned good contest. Two teams of six made for an exceptionally good nights footy with the shirts running out victors. The opening game (first to ten) was completely dominated by the shirts with a mixture of slick passing and fine finishing which the yellows found difficult to cope with. Josh Mackie provided the legs and a good dose of skill in a somewhat older line up than he is used to playing in. Chris Todd and Dave Brown bossed the midfield providing the ammunition for Rick Pott and Chris Anthony to net and myself, not to net. In the second game the Yellows gradually got their act together and with strikes from James Kemp Chris Podmore and Paulo looked likely to level the scores. Nudging into an 8-5 lead they were shell shocked when a flurry of late goals from the Yellows nicked it 10-8, a bit like City's capitulation earlier in the day to Spurs.
Our Cockney Hippie leader is off to that God forsaken bog they call Ireland next week so the standard should be raised somewhat although he did for the first time this year managed to out score me tonight with a mighty total of one goal, something that I failed to do although his own goal scored earlier on was a comedy classic admired by all.
Sad day yesterday for all those who love a tryer as Stockport County sank into the Blue Square North Division to play the likes of Vauxhall Motors, Colwyn Bay and possibly AFC United of Manchester plus a local Derby with Stalybridge Celtic. It doesn't seem long ago that my beloved Man City drew with them twice and lost to them twice in the Championship (1999-2000 & 2001-2002) - funny old game aint it.

Tonight's Teams

Yellows
Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore 
James Kemp
Paul Garner
John Goodwin
Nigel Caldwell

Shirts
Malc Hough
Chris Anthony
Josh Mackie
Rick Pott
Chris Todd
Dave Brown
 

 

 

 

 

 


Sunday 28th April 2013 :
Only eight bodies were available to form two teams of four in what turned out to be a fierce full bloodied end to end footie fest, plenty of bite, just the job to get your teeth into. Five exciting games ended up with the shirts winning three games to two which left just about every player breathing out of their back sides at the final whistle although some of us spent the full session in that state. John Goodwin scored a bag full of goals with Dave Brown, Paulo Garner and Josh Mackie providing a constant supply of ammunition. Dave Brown also chipped in with some sublime strikes plus his usual portion of stubborn defending. The Whites couldn't manage back to back wins but the games they did manage were a mixture of slick passing and quality finishing with Chris Anthony, Rick Pott and Chris Podmore netting an equal amount of goals between them. My own input included four penalties managing only one successful strike. Rick Pott set what must have been some kind of record by firing four goals using the wall like a snooker shot to get the ball past a challenging defender making him a worthy player of the week. It brought back memories of Ron Atchison, "The Pirate" who used the wall pass to score on a regular basis, usually followed by a roaring "get innnnn."
Well our Cockney Hippie leader  should be back next Sunday plus a few more hopefully. Sad news has filtered through that Proudy has retired from 11 a side football bringing about the demise of his beloved Glossop FC, maybe now he can concentrate more on seeking further success with his Vets team....

Chris Todd  was down with a bad case of man flu this week  but he asked me to mention a gig he's involved with next Sunday. You might have seen it around town but its a fundraiser for the One World festival at Torr Vale Mill next Sunday at 7.30. A performance of various original songs about New Mills. The derelict mill is a brilliant setting for a gig. Its Tony Audenshaw and co but they wanted an extra guitar so Chris's in the band and doing backing vocals etc. Tickets £5.
Tonight's Teams

Whites
Dave Brown
Paul Garner
John Goodwin
Josh Mackie

Shirts
Malc Hough
Chris Anthony
Rick Pott
Chris Podmore 

 

 

 


Sunday 5th May 2013 :
Another seriously good session tonight with three well matched teams going at it like good un's. Mary's Moaners were the pick of the teams with Rick Evans returning from injury and playing a big part in their success. Zsu Zsu Mastin on his return from The Irish Republic played remarkably well inspite spending much of the week pouring the old black stuff down his Cockney neck. James Kemp was their main scorer with a bag full early doors. The shirts were not far behind the Moaners with a nicely balanced team of four which included Matt Pink making his first show since July 2012 and new man, Aiden. Aiden hadn't played for 15 years but in all fairness he managed to see it through and looked a fine addition to the vets with some neat touches and a few quality finishes. I think he may be a touch stiff in the morning! Dave Brown defended doggedly as usual but Matt Pink certainly looked the part on his return earning him player of the week. My team, forced to wear the dreaded red tabards, blew hot and cold for most of the session with some outstanding play mixed with some truly mundane stuff. I am in need of some stern weight reduction which is threatening to effect my lightening pace, this may be a problem this week as Janice and I are off to a nice 5* in Cumbria for a few days of r&r. Thankfully my team mates, Josh, Richard and Chris Anthony were more on the ball and kept us in the loop while I mis-fired. Chris was in fact in great form with some excellent attacking play. It's always good to have a couple of Young Guns around you though and Chris certainly benefitted from it.
Next weekend Chris Anthony and myself are off to Wembley (yet again) to see the glorious Blues hopefully lift the FA Cup once more but, will be back to give it it the full gun again next Sunday when I expect a full turn out..... COME ON CITY

Tonight's Teams

Mary's Moaners
Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore 
John Goodwin
Paul Garner
Rick Evans

REDS
Malc Hough
Chris Anthony
Josh Mackie
Richard Westwood

Shirts
James Kemp
Dave Brown
Ade Hewitt
Matt Pink

 

 

 


Sunday 12th May 2013 :
Being a City fan can be quite distressing at times in spite of our recent financial windfall. They just can't shrug off that inescapable ability to shoot themselves in the foot at the most embarrassing moment. So losing the FA Cup Final to a team three places from the bottom of the Premier League came as another kick in the goolies but although that left most City fans in excruciating pain, it didn't necessarily arrive as a complete shock. Still that's the stuff we have to live with but that said, well done Wigan, they played like three places from the top.
Really good ninety minutes of 5 a side footy tonight with three teams all having their moments. Some good old battles played in good spirit and at the end of the night you couldn't really pick out a top team. Zsu Zsu Mastin hit an estimated 17 yarder which scuttled across the hall towards goal passing through many legs before deceiving Chris Todd in goal (not wearing his specs) and just made it over the line before coming to rest without reaching the net. Not a contender for goal of the month more a nominee for you've been framed. Ade returned still aching from his debut stint last week and put in a fine shift for his team. He has the ability to slot the ball in by placing the ball in a very cool manner as opposed to threatening the very structure of the building by battering the life out of it, like most of the rest of us. He did however pick up a bit of a thigh strain later on which left him unable to run properly but was still quicker than Zsu Zsu.Nigel gave his usual 110%, it doesn't bother Nigel how good you are, he'll still stick to you like an illegal immigrant, not much gets past the lad. James Kemp rasped a few nuggets in this evening, especially later on for a change.
With two over sixties and a fifty nine year old in my team tonight it took me back to August 19th 2002 when we turned out our first ever over 50's team at the Leisure Centre (pictured right). The line up was Back row - Keith Mastin, Tony Gavin & John Goodwin. Front row - Tony Moore and Malc Hough. We won our one off game together 4-3. This week my tortured body will pass the 67 year old mark but unfortunately I can't test it out again next week as Chris Anthony and myself will be at the Etihad for our last home game of the season but make no mistake, I'll be back the following week as I set my next target to complete another year. Hopefully Chris Anthony will reach sixty quite soon so then we will be able to turn out an over sixties team.
Couldn't be bothered picking a player of the week tonight as I'm still depressed, maybe add one later in the week.

 NEW   Will Ron ever score?
 

Tonight's Teams

MARY'S MOANERS
Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore 
John Goodwin
Paul Garner

Yellows
Malc Hough
Chris Anthony
Nigel Caldwell
Chris Todd
Matt Pink

Shirts
James Kemp
Dave Brown
Ade Hewitt
Rick Evans

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 19th May 2013 : 13 warriors were counted onto the Leisure Centre pitch at 5.30, and 12 counted off at 7.00: Mike Adrio, nutmegger of the year, had to depart at 6.45, but it was good to have him back. Not quite up to speed but moving in the right direction, Mike joined with Danny, Rick Pott and Ade to form the scratch squad for the evening which gelled quickly and put up an excellent show. Ade continues to blend well with new comrades but a word must be said about Rick Pott. Famed for damaging ceiling and light fittings, Rick has always been a dangerous front man with a lethal toe-punt and colossal running ability which gives his defence many options in playing the ball forward. Marking him when you’re an old git can be tiring, and tonight was no exception, with him finding the net more often than the expanse of wall 12 feet above it. With Mary’s Moaners carrying an average age of 50, this was not their night, although Johnboy scored a few to keep his week sweet and Evans Above, Paulo and Chris Podmore had their moments. ZsuZsu excelled momentarily in goal, making stunning saves despite having his eyes shut. He even saved one or two when he left his eyes accidentally open. But the night belonged to Malc’s rejuvenated squad, with old guards Proudy and Chris Todd no longer having to carry the ageing playmaker who with Chris Anthony made the season’s concluding pilgrimage to the trophy less and manager-less Etihad Stadium to witness the final humiliation against Norwich City. One can admire their stoic loyalty but there are clearly questions to be asked about their fascination with masochism. At it was, their replenished squad found a new rhythm with Matt and James making up their numbers and finished the night unbeaten, but not quite securing three points from all their encounters. Matt Pink was the maestro, though, and earned the Player of the Week award. We’ll see what he’s like next week when Houghie returns....

Our guest writer has excelled himself with this weeks report with only three spelling mistakes and one additional new word introduced to the 12th Concise Oxford English Dictionary (i.e. nutmegger) . Many Thanks though for a very welcome contribution.

Tonight's Teams

MARY'S MOANERS
Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore 
John Goodwin
Paul Garner
Rick Evans

Yellows
Keith Proudfoot
James Kemp
Chris Todd
Matt Pink

Shirts
Mike Adrio
Ade Hewitt
Rick Pott
Dan Bailey

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 26th May 2013 : Bank Holiday apathy hit the Leisure Centre tonight as the lads preferred to waste their evening and leave the few to struggle on. Only one young gun on view in the shape of Podders who reminded the rest of us what it was like to run round for 90 minutes without breathing through our arses. Having now passed into my 67th year I probably suffered more than anyone frequently slipping into the empty lung mode. It was during one of these moments that I made a serious career decision brought on by a reluctant acceptance that at my time of life operating at the highest level might prove harder still as time goes on. So it was with in mind that I have very reluctantly decided to retire from International Football, á la Rio Ferdinand.
Playing four Bibs versus three Shirts tonight, although disappointing, threw up three damned good first to ten games which were all decided by the final goal. Due to the lack of numbers the benches made an unwelcome appearance, the first since Aug 2011. We decided that the Shirts team would have the luxury of a bench as a last line of defence and the Bibs would have a fixed keeper instead. This worked quite well although there was no rest in goal for the Shirts with Proudy and Paulo both working overtime to cover my lack of lung power earning them the joint player of the week award. Dave Brown overcame his initial reluctance to avoid the Shirts bench when shooting, finally hitting a rich vein of neatly chipped goals. Proudy set up the first game victory banging in a series of lethal volleys but the Bibs came back to nick the second match to set up a thrilling decider. Paulo and Johnboy traded goal for goal and even Zsu Zsu got in on the act as the game flowed end to end. Then in the final throws I threaded a David Silva type pass through the eye of a Bibs needle to pick out Paulo who dispatched it with great style into the Bibs net to give the Shirts a well deserved 2 games to one victory.
 

Tonight's Teams

BIBS

Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore 
John Goodwin
Dave Brown

SHIRTS

Keith Proudfoot
Paul Garner
Malc Hough
 



 

Sunday 2nd June 2013 : Fourteen Vets rolled into the Leisure Centre Tonight to play in a full bloodied contest by the three teams selected and I have to say you couldn't separate them  when we wrapped up at seven. The Shirts settled together really well after a slow start with Colin Ramwell returning for his first appearance since July 15th 2007. Just to show he still had it as they say, he lashed in the first goal of the night, a beauty from distance. Mary's Moaners played as well as ever with Keith Mastin starting to look like his old self (mind you he's always looked old so nothing new there). Rick Evans played as a deep lying moaner producing some mazy runs but an unusual amount of fine passes. My squad had the luxury of Mike Adrio and Matt Pink in our ranks and both were in fine form which was a good job because with the two Chris's they had the task of carrying my portly frame which is suffering a serious decline in form. With the transfer window wide open I'll have to buck my ideas up in the coming weeks. Mike Adrio was presented with his "Vets Player of the Year 2012" tonight which was somewhat overdue and with his excellent display of his usual party tricks and flicks, he notched up another deserved player of the week award. After the presentation of his shield, I promptly dropped it and broke it - a sign of my performance to come some would unkindly say. Anyway, short report tonight because I'm going to watch Brazil play England at the Maracana, hope England shape a bit better than I did tonight, Come on England......
 
Tonight's Teams

MARY'S MOANERS
Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore 
John Goodwin
Paul Garner
Rick Evans

Yellows

Chris Anthony
Malc Hough
Chris Todd
Matt Pink
Mike Adrio

Shirts

Dave Brown
Rick Pott
James Kemp
Colin Ramwell

 

 

 

 

Sunday 9th June 2013 : It's quite strange in the close season with little happening on the football front, a few transfers and the usual managerial merry go round plus England under 21's getting knocked out early doors in the U21's European Championships. Funny that one, they're held in Israel - I always thought Europe ended in Istanbul. So the French Open Tennis championship in Paris, the Canadian Formula 1 Grand Prix and an unusually sunny afternoon were the only distractions from another mega 5 a side challenge at the Leisure Centre. OK so ten of us had this train of thought. So the two teams kicked off in temperatures akin to those found on the Mediterranean coast and set about each other with a pace that defied there aging frames. The first game was nip and tuck with both sides playing some swift passing moves and crisp finishing. Mike Adrio was at the centre of all Mary's Moaners better moves with Chris Podmore flying round like Chris Podmore does and Dave Brown suddenly discovering the joys of the overlapping full back.  As for the shirts, Rick Pott had to wait until the 11th minute before his first meeting with the deck before dusting himself off and banging in a few toe bungers. With Rick, Proudy, Dan Bailey and Chris Todd all playing well and a sight more mobile than myself, I found my missing passing game that had deserted me over the last few weeks and felt much the better for it. Well my Shirts just nicked the first game 10-9 but in the second were beaten by a resurgent Moaners with a similar score. However in the decider the Moaners ran the show. Zsu Zsu Mastin and Paulo Garner took advantage of the Shirts tiring defence which showed the resistance of a nymphomaniac at an orgy. Zsu Zsu in particular managed to raise his goal scoring count for the night to a stunning seven, not bad for a pensioner. There were a lot of tired limbs at the end but we all had a really good session and for me, roll on next week!! New Page methinks for next week

The Teams
MARY'S MOANERS

Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore 
Mike Adrio
Paul Garner
Dave Brown

Shirts
Malc Hough
Chris Todd
Rick Pott
Keith Proudfoot
Dan Bailey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Sunday 16th June 2013 :
Fathers Day probably caused the low numbers tonight although the 11 who turned out put on a decent showing with some very good football. We reverted to the rotation system for tonight's games, this was probably Scouse Ron's greatest contribution to the vets football all though retiring from playing comes a close second.  In the first hour Mike Adrio gave us all another master class of of his talents teasing and beating players at will and scoring with nonchalant ease, player of the week, a no brainer. Ade Hewitt was back after his injury break and chipped in with a number of fine strikes as did James Kemp who gets better by the week. Overall everyone was on the ball in a very enjoyable session although I have to say the rotation system does take the competitive edge out of the contest as opposed to the regular squads. At around the half way stage though the bite appeared with a vengeance as Johnboy and Matt Pink both raced for a loose ball. In our YouTube video
Only One Winner Here some years ago, the two clashed with Matt ending up in a heap but tonight Matt restored the balance as Johnboy hit the deck in true Rick Pott style. John rose from the newly surfaced Leisure Centre floor with that assassins glazed expression, someone was going to get it. Passes were unloaded much quicker than normal as retribution filled the air then out of the blue, Johnboy picked up a loose ball, beat one, then two players before lashing the ball into the net with great aplomb and peace returned much to our relief. I managed to restore out gun my fellow pensioner Zsu Zsu Mastin on the goal scoring front after his heroics last week but only the old Cockney Hippie and myself know how good it feels to have the opportunity to even talk goals in the pension queue. Rock on and roll up for another bash next week - and Proudy - keep your head down.....
 

Tonight's players

Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore 
John Goodwin
James Kemp
Matt Pink
Mike Adrio
Ade Hewitt
Dan Bailey
Nigel Caldwell
Malc Hough
Dave Brown

 

Sunday 23rd June 2013 : A miserable wet Sunday with no sport other than a rain effected Cricket Final made for the ideal mood to get down to the Leisure Centre. Fifteen of the lads lined up raring to go including newcomer Paul Smith, a Reading fan who hasn't played for some years. A toss up between my yellows and Mary's Moaners for tonight's top team with both teams having some excellent wins. I was well pleased to hit goal scoring form including two stonkers which fair ripped in. Rick Evans (player of the week) was the pick of a very strong Mary's Moaners squad, just like old times. The Shirts were handicapped by not playing with regular team mates although they weren't lacking in effort. Dave Brown showed some nice touches for a big man with Ade, Rick and James sharing the goal scoring. New boy Paul Smith suffered from lack of fitness which will soon come after a few weeks but it will be interesting to hear how he felt when he crawled out of his pit on Monday morning.
Matt Pink and Chris Pott had to do the running for my Yellows as they were carrying three old giffers in Nigel, Chris and myself with a combined age of 187 years. Nigel always amazes me with his running over the session, he certainly doesn't look like an over 60 vet whereas Chris and I are often spotted taking short brakes in the wrong half.
So all in all a trouble free and enjoyable ninety minutes and hopefully more of the same next week.

Tonight's Teams

MARY'S MOANERS
Keith Mastin
Chris Podmore 
John Goodwin
Mike Adrio
Rick Evans
Yellows
Nigel Caldwell
Chris Anthony
Malc Hough
Chris Todd
Matt Pink
Shirts
Dave Brown
Ade Hewitt
Rick Pott
James Kemp
Paul Smith
 

 

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